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10 Bumps

Trying to understand but I am upset

I went grocery shopping this morning. When I grocery shop, I get most of my food for 2 weeks, it is cheaper this way and I get tempted half as often to buy extra junk. Anyway I was at the checkout with my basket overflowing. I go to pay with my food stamp card as then left. As I left the woman who was behind me in line stopped me and said " I wish I could get that much food for MY family, we have to stretch our food bill but here you are buying $200 worth of food on food stamps. I said "yes, I am buying for 2 weeks, it saves money" and she said "well while we are sitting down to our small dinner tonight, I'll know your family eats well on MY DIME. I said "your dime????" But then I calmed down and said "well if you really don't have enough to eat, maybe you should apply for food stamps and feed your children instead of criticizing me for doing so". I know it looks like either we are pigs or I have an army of children because I buy for 2 weeks (and yes, that includes GASP 2 bags of chips AND 2 things of ice cream) so I try to just ignore people but I just hate how people think they have the right to put me down because they are having trouble and they are too proud to take the help. I don't brag about my food stamps nor did I apply for every program I was eligible for, I take the help I need and hope to not need any soon


Asked by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Apr. 21, 2011 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (36)
  • Hand her a penny, tell her that's paying her back her share of your groceries for the next 10 years, provided you would ever be allowed 10 years of fs.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 4:13 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • You have to understand that it is frustrating at times to see people using foodstamps, and able to buy so much food, when some of us make just a bit too much to qualify so we have to budget like crazy just to feed our family. I completely understand how she feels.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:57 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • what people don't get about foodstamps is that not everyone has it because they have 9 kids, no job and want to suck the government's tit their whole life.

    there are so many honest, hard working people who get foodstamps. and its not like by using the card you aren't "paying" for it. you still have an allotted monthly amount of money and you have to budget off of that, if you go over you are screwed until it starts over the next month. you can't just go crazy and buy anything you want.

    and this is why you might also see people with "nice cars". there are people who got fucked by today's economy who already had decent cars, lost their jobs and had to get on FS. chances are they're struggling to make that car payment because of the situation they found themselves in.

    you never know what someone's situation is or was before they landed on PA. so people need to mind their own damn business.

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:07 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Dont worry about those people. They just are angry because the economy sucks and they might not even realize they may qualify for aid themselves. My dd still gets food stamps. One day I took her and my granddaughter to walmart. The woman in front of us paid with food stamps and granted, was slow. There was a woman behind us bitching to no end about how she knew that woman would pay with food stamps. My dd was next, paid with food stamps. As we were getting her things and my granddaughter to go outside, that woman, the woman bitching, PAID WITH FOOD STAMPS. I just couldnt help myself.. I turned around and said you know its funny, here you are criticizing someone using FS and you just paid for your things with FS yourself. Sometimes people are just stupid.

    Answer by gemgem at 10:55 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I think you handled it pretty well; I might not have been so controlled or nice. I loved your "maybe she should apply for food-stamps" response, wish I could have been there to see the expression on her face. Many people think that everyone on food-stamps is abusing and cheating the system. Many people don't understand that there are currently MILLIONS of us struggling to make ends meet in this economy and many of us for the first time ever have had to get food stamps to do that. I'm sorry that woman took her bad day out on you. I hope things get better for you soon and like most of us are looking forward to the day we no longer have to use food stamps to survive.


    Answer by meooma at 11:03 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I just get pissed off when people use their food stamp car and then get into a really nice new car.. I work my ass off and drive a beat up old car so it is a huge slap in the face when I see someone abuse the system. if you can afford a nice car maybe you should use that car payment and buy food for your family instead of having the state do it...


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • She was probably having a bad day and she should have kept her mouth shut.
    I can't help, but be a little jealous, but we don't qualify for food stamps because my hubby makes too much. I guess I would rather have it this way, but it would be nice to get grocery for 2 weeks without "paying" for it.

    Answer by kaylan010 at 10:55 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • She was wrong for saying something to you.

    Answer by louise2 at 10:58 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • It's not about being too proud not to get assistance, it's about knowing it wrong to get assistance just to make things easier. OP, I don't know what your situation is so this isn't directed at you specifically. But many people on assistance could get by without it. Not comfortably, but they could. My kids go without things they want every week because we are on a budget. If it was a matter of not being able to feed them I'd get assistance in a heartbeat. But the fact that I have shop very carefully and fore go luxuries is just a fact of life and it's one I want my children to understand.


    Answer by maxswolfsuit at 7:53 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • It's hard, and no matter what, people will judge you. My first job was a cashier at a local Walmart. I was 18 and sadly, I saw a lot of abuse when it came to the food stamp program so I used to be pretty judgemental like this woman, but I never spoke out loud. I also saw people who really needed the assistance, though. I was just bothered by the people who didn't and believe me, you can tell who needs assistance and who doesn't when you have conversations with these people. When I was unemployed about 2 years ago, I had to be on food stamps. When I got a new job, I cancelled my benefits. Times were tough sometimes but since I was working, I didn't need them and was hoping by me giving them up they would go to someone in need because I believe that's what the program is for. You know your situation. If you need assistance, you need assistance. Ignore this woman. Do what you need to do for you.

    Answer by fricky29 at 11:02 AM on Apr. 21, 2011