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How do I handle my 6 year old step son's attempts to ostrisize his biological mother?

My step son is far closer to me then to his mother. She gets visitation and everytime he is with her, he makes sure they get into a situation that leaves her frazzled. He is only 6, but assures me that since she has no respect for him, he needs not have any for her. I have tried explaining that it is hard for her, because she doesn't to see him often and he won't really let her get close. She gets defensive any time we try and bring up strategies to her, and seems to think that this is all his fault or my fault. This isn't really a new development, but it has definately escalated recently. Just as some background, my husband and I started dating when he was about a year old and married when he was about 2


Asked by Mom1Stepmom1 at 12:12 PM on Jun. 19, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 14 (1,498 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • she would benefit from learning how to discipline him. this is a wonderful site that helps a parent to set up structure, routine and consequences. I'm a huge supporter of the Family Meeting. This isn't about pointing out her shortcomings - just coming up with strategies so she can rebond with her son. He is acting out for her attention and remember, negative attention is still attention!

    Answer by sjmookie at 11:11 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • I have a similar situation my step son is 6 too. And we have custody of him his Mom lives in Las Vegas and gets him for 4 weeks in the summer. It's very hard! She just recently started calling him and talking to him and stuff so he is starting to understand it a little bit more. So he has started this whole I'm not your kid thing and your just my step-mom. Step kids are a challenge, more so when their other parent is still in the picture!

    Answer by TiffysBabies at 12:36 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • sence he lives with you, you could punish him for misbeaving. let him know that it dose not matter where he is at that he still has to show respect to every one. sence you have tried the nice way and he dose not care. thats what we do with our son. he tends to think that if it is not use that he can talk back and not listion. i know what i have said you may have tried already, but it was all i can think of. i hope this helps

    Answer by kbear at 12:39 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Take him to church.

    Answer by mykidskickass at 12:41 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I am also a Stepmom and my advice is offer him love and support but at the same time try to stay out of it as much as possible. Never say anything negative about his Mom and let your Husband deal with her.

    Answer by Eliza34 at 1:43 PM on Jun. 19, 2008