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4 Bumps

Suggetions

I have been married for 7 years. It has been rocky at times but we have worked it out. Around December my husband lost his job because of retaliation. His story is he took his manager to lunch and she returned the favor back in November rumors flew he told them to stop and he got fired (she's still there). Since then I know he is texting her constantly and calls her during the day and after I go to bed (he insists I go early since I am working) I looked at the phonoe bill today. He also tells me stories about his buddy and him but I know he's talking about her. He goes towards her area once a week and I think he is taking her to lunch and possibly buying thigs I don't have access to his accounts which we pay the bills out of. I give him most of my money. He does goes out with out me but he's done that most of our married life even after our child was born. I have confronted him and he swares there just friends. He told me about an almost while I was preg and living else where because he was working. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be the psycho wife stalking but I can't handle this much with all the doubts. He even accidently took off his status of married last night. He told me as soon as he did it. He was messing with it and deleted it but couldn't put it back on on his phone. I sent a request to add it his response why why worry everyone know's were married. I feel the tension but he is home 95%, cooks and still intimate. Am I reading into this wrong. I am confused and need some suggestions. I love him truely. On another note we were talking one night before it got to this point and he said if it happens which not planning he would like me to live in the area and have week on week off with our son. (I put him to bed, bath, feed him etc... he doen't keep him at home when he gets the opportunity and has only spent 3 nights alone with him there are other things to go along with this.

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aus14

Asked by aus14 at 11:33 AM on Apr. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (309 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Too close of friends, make him pick - his ex boss or you! I don't agree with that AT ALL. I would SO make my DH pick. I don't care if thats right or wrong. I know I personally couldn't live that way. I would feel like she's the other woman. If he loves you enough, he will cut it off with her & she will respect YOU. She's obviously not a real woman bc a real woman respects the fact that there's a wife. Girl, you make his ass pick. I don't care if thats right or wrong, but I do know what he is doing is wrong on SO many different levels. Good Luck, Hun!
    loudnproud87

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 11:39 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Hu? Slow down a little bit momma. From what I can get out of this, he calls her and texts her all the time. If my DH was doing that I'd assume he was cheating or had the intentions of starting something with her.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 11:39 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I agree, he should stop, even if it is just innocent, he knows how uncomfortable it's making you feel so he should stop doing it!
    kylie_bob

    Answer by kylie_bob at 11:40 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • i would not deal with that
    ChanQ

    Answer by ChanQ at 11:43 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I dont know if he knows completely. He doen't know that I know this much. My mil tells me I need to stand up to him and put my foot down. I know if I do this he is gone or his temer will flair and I don't want that for my son. I want to protect him and not have him in that situation.
    aus14

    Comment by aus14 (original poster) at 11:44 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I'm so sorry you are in the situation you’re in right now. Trust your gut. From reading your thread I believe that there is something going on. If it's not cheating he is definitely interested in this person a little too much. Trust yourself and also get a grip on the finances so you are prepared for the worst.
    threenapuppy

    Answer by threenapuppy at 11:46 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I would go straight to his ex boss.

    Not to make a scene, but be like "look, please respect me when I ask...are you seeing my husband more than friends, because if he's taking you out, it's on the money I earn?" Something sounds fishy.
    I'd go to where she works and put her on the spot.

    And she'll tell your husband too. So, expect him to be pissed when you come home from doing this. I would just say very politely "I wanted to hear it from her that you are just friends, and aren't seeing anyone".
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 11:46 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I'm not sure I completely understand everything you've but: 1. Your husband should not be telling you when to go to bed. 2. Status changes when you go thru the process to change it, it doesn't accidentally change on its own (at least in my limited experience with technology. 3. If he's already talking about custody arrangement, he is thinking about it. 4. He should not be taking a woman out to lunch and buying her things at all - unless its his mother. I would plan on leaving or kicking him out. At this point, again if I've understood the situation at all, I would have lost all trust in him. I think he's lied to you and he's romantically and emotionally and sexually involved with this other woman. I would not stay in a relationship like this.

    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 11:47 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • He is totally cheating and you know it. You just gotta find the strength in you to admit it, and let him go. God bless.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 11:47 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I don't think he should ever be close friends like that with another woman. He needs to stop this friendship with her. Even if it was really nothing, it makes you jealous and worried. He needs to value his marriage and respect you enough to cut this other friendship off. I am sorry you have to deal with this situation. Let him know how much you love him and don't want to lose him. I think you have every reason to be jealous of your husband's contact with this other woman. Sorry your dealing with this. :(
    shakleegirl

    Answer by shakleegirl at 11:48 AM on Apr. 21, 2011

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