Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Has anyone ever been with someone abusive who actually changed?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Apr. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I have never been in a relationship with any type of abuse... And in all honesty, the first time a man would put his hand on me, or break me down with words would be the last time he'd ever be able to do or say those kinds of things to me ever again... I wouldn't give him a second chance, I'm worth more than that.
    TexasMama2Boys

    Answer by TexasMama2Boys at 12:33 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • You mean, Changed location as he went to jail? Cause that's all that will happen... You can't change bad behavior, so get rid of him before it's too late. Tha'ts kinda of a red flag don'tcha think?... Did he ever kill his ex? May want to look into that...
    NikkiVan1

    Answer by NikkiVan1 at 12:33 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Never, I left both of them and they both ended up in jail for assaulting their partner later down the road
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 12:34 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • No. The one I was with promised to change and did not. I left and did not look back. Abusers do not change.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I have never been in a relationship with any type of abuse... And in all honesty, the first time a man would put his hand on me, or break me down with words would be the last time he'd ever be able to do or say those kinds of things to me ever again... I wouldn't give him a second chance, I'm worth more than that.
    __________
    Yeah, I said that. But many times the abuse doesn't start right away and when it does, it is subtle at first. Then it comes to the point that you think you can change them. I've learned that you can't, but I learned the hard way.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 12:43 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • No, they do not change.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 12:45 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I was only ever in one abusive relationship. It did start off slow and I did not see the warnings, but let me tell you the first sign I did see I left. I almost stayed because we had been together for 2 years. The first sign I saw was him throwing a very large ceramic piggy bank at my face. I dodged and started screaming that I was calling the cops and he ran. He thought he had me broken enough that he could hit me and found out he was wrong. From what I have heard he has not changed a bit. It has be 11 years and his ex wife left only after she got out of the hospital and the state put a restraining order on him and told her she would be arrested if she let him violate it. It is a pretty big wake up call when the state steps in and says we are so worried about your safety we would rather put you in jail than have you go back to that situation.

    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 12:56 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Well some do, I was married about 10 years when it all started.........and I swore I would never put up with someone hitting or verbally abusing me, guess what ladies if you have never been there you can't say what it is you will do, being there is totally different then just imagining. Well I put up with it for 4 1/2 years and I can not even tell you why, I loved him and he always apologized for his actions. It could have been yelling, to slapping to hospitalization, but I would forgive him, well when I finally had enough I had enough I left, he got help (psychiatric) we then were married 5 almost 6 years after that..........he never raised his voice or hand at me again and I truly believe he was a changed man, with god all things are possible, He was killed in a car accident 2 days before our 21st wedding anniversary................so yes they can change but not many do
    buttonlts

    Answer by buttonlts at 1:04 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Suggetions

Next question overall (Baby Names)
Baby names from Bible?

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN