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5 Bumps

Do you feel less sympathy for women who remain in abusive relationships who eventually get hurt?

Even if before a woman was abused beaten or killed there were indications of potential violence (red flags) yet she remained.  

 
Gaily.Daily

Asked by Gaily.Daily at 1:00 PM on Apr. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Level 6 (131 Credits)
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Answers (23)
  • Most people who have never been in a situation where they are being abused can not imagine why anyone would stay in it. The truth is , there are many reasons women stay...there is no set list, but there are standard reasons heard over and over again. It's a lot like stockholm syndrome for some and for others they have had their entire ideas about themselves changed to reflect what the abuser says to them about themselves and end up feeling like they deserve what happened, they can't do any better and the list is endlessly negative. They feel powerless and too unworthy to change their situation. The abuser has to do this mental conditioning in order to keep her and be able to continue the abuses. There is nothing an abusiver hates more than losing and they will do anything not to.
    CallMeAngie

    Answer by CallMeAngie at 5:56 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • im not a heartless bitch, so yes i feel sympathy even when they stay in the relationship. i came out of a 2 year relationship with a guy who was controlling and emotionally abusive. its not that i wanted to stay it was that i couldn't get away. abusive people are master manipulators and they continue to make their victims weaker and weaker until they can't fight back. it takes a lot of support from family and friends to get away from someone like that.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:02 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • No. They still are abused women. I don't understand why they stayed but I'm very sympathetic to all women who are abused.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 1:01 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Yes, because you don't know what they are feeling. They must really love that person, and they might not see/think the way you do. Therefore, you have to sympathy for them and love them and support them.
    ms.grumppy

    Answer by ms.grumppy at 1:03 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Yes, because I was that same woman for many years, I made excuses for his abuse....I know there are MANY reasons that women stay in abusive relationships but I wish that I could just go to every woman in that situation and plead with them not to stay....it's not worth you or your child life
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 1:06 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I feel very sympathetic. I was in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship for 3 years. Why did I stay? Because that was my "normal." My mom also is emotionally and verbally abusive to me so it never occurred to me that this was not what I deserved until my daughter was born. I knew it was not what she deserved and I wanted her life to be better. That was the catalyst it took to make me realize what was going on. I am educated- I graduated from college, etc- but I have really low self esteem. Thus I was easy prey. Now I go to counseling to deal with this issue so I don't coninue the pattern in my relationships with men or my daughter.
    HyperMom38

    Answer by HyperMom38 at 1:15 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Some woman are afraid to get out of an abusive relationship. They are afraid that if they leave their SO may hurt them even more or even kill them. I watched my mom get abused for years when I was a child and she was just simply afraid to leave and thought things would get better. I have complete sympathy for for those who are abused. It is awful.
    amber1330

    Answer by amber1330 at 1:16 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I don't think they deserve it, nobody does. I just wonder why they think that is "love".
    ItsJustMe1017

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 1:03 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Nobody deserves to be abused. Some women cannot find a way out. I know some can say there's always a way out, but it's not just a physical separation.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 1:05 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • What was I thinking with my first response...?? Of course I know why we stayed..I was one for several years. We stay because of control, fear, lack of money, self esteem, support, and my favorite - one that I used for a couple of years " but I love him".
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 1:06 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

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