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When my husband gets mad at me, thats his favorite thing to call me. It hurts me so bad and I tell him not to call me ignorant and his response is always along the lines of "you are". How can I get him to stop calling me ignorant? I constantly feel like he's insulting my intelligence.

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:02 PM on Apr. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • When he says it, just tell him I am so ignorant , you are not getting any, anytime soon. And wash you own cloths.

    Answer by louise2 at 1:06 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • He's a jerk, sorry. No one who sopose to love you, insults you in that manner. You make him respect you.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 1:06 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • "better ignorant than an asshole sweetie" and leave it at that

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 1:07 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • It doesn't sound like he's using the term correctly. My mom never did either. I grew up thinking ignorant meant someone who was rude and insulting. I didn't find out the real meaning until I got to high school. Ask him if he even knows what it means next time and if he is wrong then tell him "Well look who's ignorant now." If you put him in his place he probably won't say it anymore.

    Answer by MamaStuart at 1:08 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Wow! This would be a SERIOUS issue in our marriage...and could possibly even cause a break down in that marriage...

    Sit him down when your not arguing and ask him if that is REALLY how he feels about you....once you know his answer you'll know how to proceed.

    Good luck mama

    Answer by Lucky209 at 1:08 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I would probably say something along the lines of ...... "Oh ...ignorant?? That means that I don't know better and can do pretty much whatever I want to you and get away with it." Then offer to cook him something and smile sweetly.

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 1:09 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • He is insulting your intelligence, Hun. No name calling in relationships, period. None. Goofin' off is ok like I call my SO "a silly lil man" and stuff like that, but never in a serious conversation do I say anything like that. We never even say something is dumb when we are in a serious conversation. He obviously says it becaus he knows it hurts you. My ex used to tell me " I'm imagining things" OMG! That got under my skin so badly. I said it back to him once & he never said it again. Maybe try that ? I know its not always the best way to fix problems, but sometimes its the best way to get your point across when you've tried to discuss it many times before. If that doesn't work, I'd say ignore him and "he'll go away" meaning his behavior & name calling. ya know ? Good Luck, hun. Take care !

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 1:10 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I approach him when both of you are calm and say "you know when you call me ignorant it really hurts me. I am NOT ignorant and you have no right to call me that!". If he refuses to listen and if he keeps doing that I would respond by calling him @$@$% (insert choice of swear words here) and see how HE likes to be called a name!
    I also would not give him any lovin until he said he was sorry and agree to stop calling names!

    Answer by MizLee at 1:11 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Say " I bet saying that made you feel more like a man didn't it?" ...."Its sad how you have to stoop so low to make u feel better about bad I'm above this"......good luck girl u need a hero not a zero!

    Answer by Anastacia1988 at 1:29 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • My step dad used to ask that question of his kids and it still gets to me that anybody would say that to anyone. My husband can also be a jerk and I'm a jerk back. Name calling does hurt and it does not go away. I married 2 different assholes because I was just used to it from my stepdad. I really do believe getting hit is better because you can forget about that much easier then you can rid rid of the hurt caused by words. I don't know what to tell you because I have put up with that type of behavior. But i do know one thing men like this never change.
    Come to think of it they get worse with age, my exdh is a bigger ass now then when i left him 15 yrs ago.
    So I guess we put up with the asses in our lives or learn to let go and move on. And if your dh is like mine HE gets MAD at ME for defending MYSELF.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 2:17 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

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