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2 Bumps

I feel awful

I feel so awful right now. My period is 3 days late, I am going to get test in about 2 hours when the sitter gets here. I am getting divorced and hve been seprated from my ex for 10 months. I started seeing a guy a few weeks ago, one night things got hot and heat. He did not finish in me. But now my period is late. Its never late. I have my tubes tied. But I feel like its karma, I should not hve been hooking up with a guy i have only known a few weeks. Today I woke and decided if the test positve I am going to a clinic to get the abortion pill. I can not deal with this right now. I have always been prolife but there are things going on in my life right now that I just cnt hve a pregnancy found out. I m so stressed and upset with myself. If i am pregnant and i take the pillI know i will forever hate myself for it. the guy does not know whats going on, i didnt want to say anything if its negative. but should i say anything if its positve? Advice.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Apr. 21, 2011 in Pregnancy

Answers (7)
  • I may be hated, but I am prochoice. This is your choice. You know what's right for you and your situation. Legally, the man you hooked up with has no say, so it's really up to you whether you want to tell him or not. If you choose not to tell him, you may want to tell a friend or close, non judgemental family member if you go through with the abortion. It would be rough to go through alone and it's better to have some sort of support. Don't hate yourself if you choose to do it. You shouldn't do anything that would ever make you hate yourself. Good luck and I'm sorry you're in a difficult situation.

    Answer by fricky29 at 2:20 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • thank you i really needed to hear that. the only person i relly feel comfortable tlking to about all this lives 1500 miles away. everyone i have here is very judgemental. so thats part of the reason i m so upset. i know here i will have no support

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:24 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Take deep breaths and get the test done. Before any decisions are made, make sure it's positive. If it is positive, it is your choice. He doesn't have to be told anything. It's hard going through stuff like this alone, especially if your only means of support is 1500 miles away. If you are pregnant, Planned Parenthood has a great support group and will talk you through all your options. I believe they have counselors and people like that that can help you through it, too.

    Answer by fricky29 at 2:31 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • hugs . . .

    If you get a positive, try to go and see your regular OB. The chance of an ectopic or extra-uterine pregnancy is a bit higher in tubal ladies. You may need some other from of tx.

    Most OBs are really open-minded and will not judge. They can objectively tell you your options . . . and probably have some say on recommendations.

    Good luck mama . . .

    Whatever you decide, know that there are many of us out there who support you.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 4:20 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Just so you know about abortion, it's not just taking a pill. It's a procedure. They make sure everything is extracted from you so you don't get an infection.
    Planned Parenthood and other clinics are good with counseling, but you might want to seek out some counseling to get some closure if you decide to go that route, especially because you're pro-life.
    If you decide not to keep this child, I don't see a need to tell this guy about the pregnancy, particularly because it's not like this is a LTR. Focus on doing what's right for you and your children right now, and get the support you may need after this experience. Hopefully, it's just stress that has your period running late! =) Good luck!

    Answer by musicpisces at 4:20 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I agree with everything fricky29 has said. IF you are pregnant then this is your choice and you have to do what you think is best. I would say don't go out today and get the pill, give it a day or two to sink in and to make sure you are confident in whatever choice you make. Either way you will have to live with that choice so you want to think it through. Though your friend is 1500 miles away, with cell phone, internet, web cams, etc we are all closer than the distance that separates us, so reach out to that person or to someone else for support. You shouldn't have to go thru this alone no matter what you choose to do. Hugs to you.

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:22 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • musicpisces there is a pill you can get in the first 9 weeks of pregnancy, well its 2 pills actually. You take one on the first day and the second day you take the other and usually within 4-5 hours you start cramping really bad and you expell all the fetal tissue and everything. You do have to go in 2 weeks later and the dr makes sure everything was expelled. I've done my research. I would be only about 4 weeks pregnant. I did take a test this afternoon and it was negative i have a second for in the morning just to make sure. It must just be all the stress from the divorce. We had mediation today and I was really nervous about that. But it really couldnt have gone any better. Thank you all so much for the support and not putting me down or telling me i am stupid.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:33 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

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