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Bi-polar, or just being whiny?

My husband is an undiagnosed bipolar manic depressive. Our financial situation is, well, it f***ing sucks.

He is the only one working and he can't stand the idea of putting the little ones in daycare. I understand that.

He has a nice job. It's not great but jeez, its a job. Not too many people we know can say they even have a job.

His checks are about 6-900 every week. We're behind in bills so yes we're playing catch up, but thankfully we've been able to work things out with anyone we owe so we have time you know.

Dh seems to NEVER be happy. With the job he had before this one he complained about the commute, before that he complained about not being home and only making a very small amount of money. Now he complains about still not making the money he wants even though he's home more.

He has this delusion that he'll find THE perfect job. It'll pay him 1500 a week, he'll be home every night and off every Friday, Sat, and Sunday. I'm like, "Uh no." Not with the trade that you have, not a possibility.

I ask him to PLEASE find the little things to be happy about.

He says it's his bipolar. But he's been using that line more and more often.
I'm worried that it ISN'T his bipolar and he really CAN'T be happy. That he's one of those people will will NEVER be satisfied.

What would you do in this situation?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Apr. 21, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Hmmmm. It sounds like more of perfectionism in a weird way - my husband is the same way - nothing will ever be "perfect" and he in reality is aware of that but if anything happens or breaks its end of the world crisis mode where everything we have is Shit or breaks or our luck is so bad, why even bother being happy etc.. one day he's thankful for his job, next he's complaining he isn't making enough or the weeks are too long etc.. I have known and read a lot about mental illness since I am a crazy bird myself, I know he has some perfectionist traits that seem to be what this sounds like.. also seems a bit depressed and that can make you have that never satisfied outlook.. my DH is currently working on that since having our son but I totally totally understand your frustration!! GL Mama!!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:31 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Get a professional involved.

    Answer by neubren3 at 2:28 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • If he truly is manic-depressive bi-polar it sounds to me like he's heading into a depressive round. Get some professional help.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 2:44 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Just because he is bipolar and a little down doesn't mean you have to automatically run to the "professionals". It could be like you say that he may not rally be "happy" or pleased. My husband is the same way and complains about stuff no matter what, its just who he is and I have to accept that. He also takes time to tell me how grateful for stuff he has as well.

    Unless he is a danger to himself or anyone else, then I see no reason to call the professionals, seems like he is functioning fine as he is able to keep a job.

    He just may not be an overly happy person, and chances are nothing you do will change that.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 6:45 PM on Apr. 21, 2011