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4 Bumps

What do u think

okay so hubby did online cheating he went as far as tellin this one girl that he loves her just to see if she would send him dirty pics :( i found out in november of 2010 it has now been 6 months since..n im still trying to get over it..well last night we were arguing about puttin some spy thing on his ipod touch so i can see what hes been doing just untill i can completely trust him 100% well he got mad and said he doesnt want it anymore and tht im not getting better at all im just getting worse everyday about that stuff..how do i explain to him that its prolly gonna get a lil worse before it gets better..he makes me feel so bad because i dont trust him :(

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Apr. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • ok so he cheated on you & then is telling you that your getting worse? sounds like hes an asshole.
    if you want to be with him, then yeah i guess your gonna have to let shit go in order for it to work but just be sure thats what u want. he probably will do it again & i think u know that.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 2:32 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Personally, I feel like you have every right to do look at whatever you want to of his on YOUR time and since he is regaining your trust, he needs to respect your timeline of when you feel comfortable again. I have a few Dr. Phil episodes on DVR he could watch!
    wendydays

    Answer by wendydays at 2:41 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Personally, I feel like you have every right to do look at whatever you want to of his on YOUR time and since he is regaining your trust, he needs to respect your timeline of when you feel comfortable again. I have a few Dr. Phil episodes on DVR he could watch!


    THIS!!!
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 2:45 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Yep, that's the problem once you lose trust in a relationship. That's why my advice is always to move on; you will NEVER get that trust back and you will NEVER get beyond the hurt of being lied to and cheated on. The relationship will never be what it used to be and you will always be questioning him and he will always be defending and in the end you will both get tired of that game.

    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 2:46 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • A good relationship is based on openness, trust and communication..it kinda seems like your lacking most of it. It almost sounds like he is hiding something on his ipod because he is acting so defensive. Ive been there, im sorry your going through this!
    dolphingoddess

    Answer by dolphingoddess at 2:52 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • If you can't stop yourself from constantly worrying about what he's doing, or constantly questioning him. Then it's time to walk away. No point in living a life where you are always worrying, wondering and second guessing your husband. He may be hiding something, he may not. You can't control him or what he does. You can only control yourself and go after your own happiness.
    spoiled_wife

    Answer by spoiled_wife at 2:56 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • he doesnt sound remorseful enough.. if he is trying to regain your trust and he truly loves you he will do as you ask until he has gained your full confidence... apparently he is not wanting to change his ways... :(
    SHELL28

    Answer by SHELL28 at 2:57 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • i try to tell him that stuff like this is gonna take time for me to get over especially because he did it from july of 2009 to november of 2010 even while i was pregnant with our 3rd baby :( i love him to death and have been together for almost 9 years in september...so im not willing to just throw everything we've worked for away. i just wish he could put himself in my shoes for a day.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:00 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • You may not be ready to just throw everything away, but what is he doing?
    dolphingoddess

    Answer by dolphingoddess at 3:03 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • he is showing me his ipod, phone anything he can get on the internet, hes been trying so hard for me to trust him but when he gets all defensive and crap i just want to go godzilla on him and then that makes me think okay why if hes not doing anything again is he being so defensive..i know i should really put it all in the past if i want things to work which i do its just hard to forget some times or when we fight/argue it pops in my head..i just walk away and cool down rather then saying something stupid about it.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:09 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

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