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Do you ever really become friends with your spouse’s ex?

About 3 weeks ago my husband’s ex friend requested me on Facebook and I ignored her request for many reasons. Since the very beginning she has been manipulative, spiteful, slanderous, and downright dirty. She claimed that she was prego with my husbands, at that time my boyfriends, baby and went to DSHS and forced child support while they were separated. The truth came out through a DNA test and the money was refunded to him. He was able to obtain full custody of his kids for many reasons that I will not go into on here. I can sympathize with the fact that it must be extremely hard to see another women raise your children but I have never been pushy with the kids about seeing me as anything other than a friend and someone they can count on when they need help. When Mother’s Day rolls around I always make sure they have something to give/send her. She moved away about 5 months ago and has proven many times they she is more interested in her then the kids. She calls maybe every 3 weeks if the kids are lucky. The kids have the ability to call their Mom anytime they like but when they do she’s either unavailable, not home, or ends up talking to her kids about her life. To top everything off even with her lack of communication to our house she slams us on Facebook saying the kids are being mentally & physically abused! WTF, then you have the nerve to friend request me?!?! So I guess the question is: Do I just ignore the friend request or do I open a can of drama (that is really not wanted) and let her know how I feel?

Answer Question
 
TanyaShaneyfelt

Asked by TanyaShaneyfelt at 2:31 PM on Apr. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (60 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I will never ever ever become friends with my husband's ex. She's an ugly person on the inside as well as the outside.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • i would probably not accept her friend request yet, but i would write her a message or have a long talk on the phone about how you really feel. your both adults and you share the same children now. someone needs to tell her! you dont have to name call or anything like that.. just say it how it is.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 2:35 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • My husband's ex, not a chance in the world for the same reasons as anon gave, but my ex's wife, I am. My DS is with her half his life, I'd be a fool to be fighting with her :)
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 2:38 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • My husbands exgf is on my Facebook, she is a riot to be around but his last wife.....She is crazy,crazy,crazy! and still have to wonder why my dh put up with her for as long as he did.
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 2:40 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • She doesnt sound like someone you want to be associated with or go out of your way for. In some cases you can be friends or civil. I have a case where my exs ex wife and I get along really well. Her children are my kids half siblings and we all get along great. Although the father of the kids arent in the picture, the kids remain close through mine and hers friendship. I wish you the best of luck, but that woman seems more drama than anything else!
    dolphingoddess

    Answer by dolphingoddess at 2:42 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • If she has been the way you say, I think friend requesting you is just a way to get in your business and she will probably end up being just as mean as you have seen of her already. Plus, you said she already slams you on Facebook, so I would just ignore her and the request. It doesn't sound like a relationship that can be civil much less friendly. I have been here, my dh's ex was always saying how she wanted to be friends with me but the truth was she just wanted to get in between me and dh and the whole time she was slamming me to SD and anyone who would listen. The best day was when I finally stopped trying to make everyone happy and told her to take a hike and stay out of my life. The only contact that needed to be was to dh about real situations with sd, period. Other than that she was not a part of our lives.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I'm friends with two of my husband's ex-gfs. But that's because they have moved on and they are happy that me and him are together. They are both really good people too. I love them to death.

    Now my husband's other ex, oh hellllll no. He dated her for a month when he was 15 and she was like 13...and she dumped him. She's been trying for 8 years to get back with him and even after he has changed his number and repeatedly told her to stop contacting him, she keeps doing it. She doesn't get it. I've been with him for 6 1/2 years...we're married...we have 2 kids....it's OVER between him and her. He wants me. LOL. I'm not going anywhere.
    tangleballlover

    Answer by tangleballlover at 3:02 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • i dont think i could ever be freinds with any of his exes
    jaksonsmommy

    Answer by jaksonsmommy at 6:01 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • No, ignore it.
    Honda309

    Answer by Honda309 at 11:28 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

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