Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Moms ande MIL?

Okay my mother gets mad whenever I do something with my MIL but then again its the other way around...I feel like I am being tugged by each one and I am on my last limb with both of them...Everytime one of them does something for my daughter the other one trys to out do the other one and it makes me so stressed because I love both of them....There are times I argue with my mom because of all the drama she makes out of it and the same goes for my MIL....I just dont know what to do because I have told them that I cant take them competing back and forth with each other. It stresses me out so bad that I wanna break bad on both of them and stay away from them...I am so confused on what to do if they arent willing to get along with each other and/or quite competing with each other.....

 
shelle21

Asked by shelle21 at 6:31 PM on Apr. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,522 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • If I were you, I would try with all my might to simply not let their behavior bother me. If one of them says she is mad, tell her you wish there was something that you could do, but you are eager to get along with everybody and have nothing else to say on the matter. If it's possible, even stop telling the one what you've done with the other or what the one has done for you. Just try to stay neutral in the whole situation. The problem really is not yours; it is their immaturity and unfortunately, you don't have the power to make them grow up nor to change either one of them in any other way either. So, say as little as possible to either one of them, and let their remarks roll off you like water off a duck. If neither one of them can get a rise out of you, maybe their little game will lose some of its flavor!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:44 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I would keep doing things with both of them a you have time. If they want to compete, let them worry about who does what and who does it best. Stay out of it.

    If either one says something to you, just say that if they feel that they need to compete, they need to talk to the other. Your only concern is for the wellbeing of your child and that you like having a relationship with both.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 6:34 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I understand how stressful that could be, and I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, because I really do think that would be hard to deal with, but it's a better problem than so many women have with mil's and even moms.

    I've been married 22 years, my mother in law cut my husband off when he married me because I'd been married before and had a child. She'd had nothing to do with her grandchildren, and neither grandmother goes out of their way to spoil our boys...the only grandchildren on both sides....let alone compete for them.

    I wish that either one of them cared enough to cause me that much trouble.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 6:34 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I'd be tempted to not visit either one till they can learn to act like adults.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Well, those are good problems to have, vs a MIL who you don't get along with.

    Just don't share the info, if you don't say anything...your not lying, just not mentioning it.
    ItsJustMe1017

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 6:38 PM on Apr. 21, 2011