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3 Bumps

After A Conversation With My Sister...

So I was hanging out with my sisters yesterday and, somehow, we got into a conversation about things that we did when we were younger but wouldn't do now and wouldn't let my child do. I was a wild kid, sneaking off, drinking, smoking, dating guys I had no business with. I had to grow up because I got pregnant but I look back on that and it terrifies me that, in fourteen years, my daughter could be as wild as I was and that I will be as clueless as my mother. My mother was a "good child" so I'm hoping that, because I was so wild, then, if my daughter tries to go down the same road, I will be able to do something about it.

I need to hear from other mother's who were wild kids and what you are doing to make sure your children don't turn out like you were.

Answer Question
 
Razzle_Dazzle1

Asked by Razzle_Dazzle1 at 6:58 PM on Apr. 21, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,775 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • The one thing to keep in mind is that you know some of the tricks that you pulled and how you got away with it. You know what to look for, you won't be as naieve as your mom.

    Just be watchful, look for signs and in my case, privacy is earned and until they are older, they don't get that luxury.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 7:01 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • Start by having good communication and rules from the very beginning. If you don't make rules and enforce them when they're very young, it's harder to make them when they're older. Know their friends....and their friends parents. Don't let them stay with friends whose parents you don't know, and keep the communication open between all parents, this way you know that they are always supervised. Let them know that even if their friends parents give them more freedom, you feel that your child is worth the extra work that being a vigilant parent requires. Have their friends to your house whenever possible this way you KNOW what's going on.

    I could go on, but the bottom line is keep communication open with your kid and their friends parents, supervise....and know that you can't prevent everything. They will do things you don't want them to do....but at least if they know what the rules are, they're more likely to think about it.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:03 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I think setting expectations, limits and examples is all you can do.

    I was a "good kid", but ALL my siblings were wild. I am TERRIFIED that my kids will be. I can handle some shennanegans lol, but wild parties and drinking and drugs... I mean, my little brother was snorting heroine by the time he was 15 and all 4 of my siblings were pregnant/had a baby by someone in their teens. I'm so scared that my kids will repeat their mistakes.

    So I keep a tight lid on what they are exposed to as far as that stuff goes, and I set a good example myself. They are very young, only 3 and 8 months, but you best believe that they will have expectations placed on them as appropriate.

    Good luck to both of us, mama.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 7:06 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • My little girl is only two and I'm already worried. My mother's problem was that she was too strict and, not only drove me into rebellion, but she was so convinced that I was compleatly under her control that, in her zeal to control the little things, she missed the big things. She made a big show of her power but was convinced she had scared me into submission so she didn't bother to supervise.
    Razzle_Dazzle1

    Comment by Razzle_Dazzle1 (original poster) at 7:18 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • My mom was a goodie-two-shoe as well & OH BOY wash she SO NAIVE! We got away with so much!

    I was such a punk & experimented so much as a teen, there is NO CHANCE IN HELL my child will ever get away with that stuff. I'm already one step ahead of her....
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:18 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • i never had rules or a curfew but i didnt abuse it. I was always home at a decent hour on school nights(9pm) and weekends(11).The only thing that was asked of me was to leave a number where i was or who i was with, call if I was going to be late or spend the night away.Never got in to trouble either! Didnt have a baby till I was almost 21 gradated high school with extra credits too!
    Now that i have a child i would like to be the same way but things are different now then thy were when i was a teen (im 28) I feel the key is communication and honesty we tell our daughter she can alay talk to us and if she tells us the yruth she wont get in trouble unless it isdangerous.
    auggirl11

    Answer by auggirl11 at 7:47 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • haha, my son is 23 now and he was raised by two "bad" kids, he NEVER got in trouble because we knew all the tricks between us...good luck!
    shivasgirl

    Answer by shivasgirl at 8:11 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

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