I have a boyfriend with 2 boys, 3 and 5. My son is 4. Their mother walked out on them, leaving my boyfriend alone to take care of them. He lived in a small 1 bedroom apartment, and although our relationship is new, I invited him to come live with me since I have more room and could use help financially. Daddy and I are good friends and I love him very much. Sex seems like a historical figment of my imagination, because ever since the boys came, I haven't gotten any... Which makes me feel kinda used...
Back to the story; for the most part, the kids are adjusting very well. They giggle and play and even call me 'mommy'. I have known these kids since they were born. I care about them very much and it breaks my heart that their mother could just leave them without even saying goodbye...
Here is my issue: the oldest, 5, likes to play with fire. We have to keep our lighters, straightening irons, curling irons, etc out of his reach. My place is nice. I paid a 1000 dollar deposit. I have worked very hard to have this place, and to keep it nice for my child.
Since they have been here, not even yet a month; their are crayons all over my walls... most all of my possessions have been ruined... my child is starting to lie and be defiant, which he never was before... and here is the kicker... they set FIRE to my house leaving a 2 foot scorch mark in the carpet, into that fire went my medication, a ps3 controller, my wireless keyboard and mouse, shoes the remotes to both big screen TVs... (Their dad was taking a shower when this was happening.) He got out in time to put it out and no one got hurt.
I drove home from work and spanked all three of them, and I don't even believe in spanking.... That was about 2 weeks ago.
Today, the boys were home with me and when it was nap-time. The oldest, fell asleep in the floor with a sleeping bag watching toy story. I was laying on the couch, my son and his youngest curled up with me on the couch and we all took a nap.
I was having a beautiful dream of daddy... at least I get it in my dreams... when the Mommy-dar went off, and I found them upstairs with a lighter, which only the 5 year old knows how to use, burning toilet paper into my carpet. 2 more scorch marks. Bye bye deposit.
I have no clue how they got a lighter. If it weren't for my son's big mouth I'm afraid this could have been much worse. I was so scared. God was watching over my family today.
I want to do the right thing by these children. Their mother walked out on them to do drugs. Their grandparents don't care.
They are great kids! Loving, smart, and funny... but I am afraid I opened my door too quickly. I wasn't mentally or emotionally prepared to raise 2 more boys. I just want to help. They need a mother-figure in their lives. They adore me and I them. Most days it's just cuddles and laughter.
I am not sure I want my child to be influenced by the oldest. My son has never has done anything remotely like this before. He is a good kid, defiant maybe, but he knows right from wrong. He knows what he is and isn't allowed to touch. I never even had to baby-proof. Carson just isn't like that.
I love the idea of having 3 boys. A family.
Fire is unacceptable.
Everything I"ve worked so hard for is ruined. Material things, yes, but I worked hard to make this home nice for my son. I love the boys. I love my bf. We have been friends for a very long time...
I know they are not my responsibility and most of you are going to tell me to bail, but I can't be just another person in these children's lives that turns their back on them. I am extremely loving. I know I can help heal their pain, all of them, daddy too.... I am just so overwhelmed. How do I handle this??Answer Question
Answer by meooma at 7:48 PM on Apr. 21, 2011
Answer by Jademom07 at 7:48 PM on Apr. 21, 2011
Answer by ohwrite at 7:51 PM on Apr. 21, 2011
Answer by tootoobusy at 7:52 PM on Apr. 21, 2011
Answer by tootoobusy at 7:53 PM on Apr. 21, 2011
Answer by wendydays at 7:54 PM on Apr. 21, 2011
Answer by ImaginationMama at 7:56 PM on Apr. 21, 2011
Answer by KiraStadnik at 7:57 PM on Apr. 21, 2011
Answer by Rosehawk at 8:36 PM on Apr. 21, 2011
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Really officer. A ticket and not a warning? REALLY? ::vent::