Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Helping my Asperger's son (almost7) learn to not completely stress out over certain things...

Like when his sister has one of his toys he will freak out and start YELLING at her 'BAD GIRL- NO BUBBA'S TOY!' Dancing around her grabbing her hands, hair, whatever he can get a hold of and sometimes even hit or bite. He does get in trouble and I do remind him that we need to 'find a better way to talk that isn't so nasty' as well as reminding him he is not a mommy or a daddy and needs to ask for help. another example. WE went to get ice cream adn the dog came with us (am outdoor place) the dog jumped out without a leash on(he is good) Well, I am telling the dog to sit so I can hook it on and DS start loosing his mind because the dog has no leash and is going to get hit. Scaring the dog to death so that he runs in circles and jumps back in the car. I get DS again reminding him he needs to chill out! So it's big things and little things. I just don't know what else I can do to help him not over react or to just ask for help when he needs something!! Any ideas?

Answer Question

Asked by But_Mommie at 8:20 PM on Apr. 21, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 44 (181,645 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • So, autistic-spectrum . .. I am sure you know all about this, but they actually overstimulated very easily, and something that may cause only a little stress in someone else, may feel absolutely intolerable to the autistic-spectrum kid. He might benefit from some relaxation training and some conditioning.
    Lay down next to him, on your backs, in a quiet room. Show him how to deep-breathe. I like to call it belly-breathing with the little ones. Practice that with him at least a few times a week. While he is breathing, you very slowly and quietly say relax, relax, relax.
    Next time he gets stressed out, you take a very deep breath, kneel down next to him, and slowly say relax, just like you do during your deep-breathing exercise. That will help get him there "mentally" and might force him to slow down his breathing and refocus.
    Good luck mama. . .

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 8:44 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I have tried that! We tried the balloon technique. Breathing in a few deep breaths then letting it out and making his hands go wider as the balloon gets bigger. Just can't seem to get him to remember it when he needs it!

    Comment by But_Mommie (original poster) at 8:47 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • How good is he at being able to talk about how it is for him when he gets stressed? Do you think he might understand if you were to talk about it calmly after? What if you were to ask him what he thinks may have helped him feel better? Does he respond at all when you say, in the moment, "I know you are upset, it will be okay, let's be calm." ? The more awareness he has, the better able he might be to eventually learn how to self-regulate.

    Hugs mama, I know it is hard. I have a very spirited little one who feels things very strongly. When that happens, I wish I could just go in there and take all of that stress out of her little heart.


    Answer by ImaginationMama at 8:57 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • He seems to loose all control of his ears when this happens! No amount of stop, calm down, chill... gets in. After we talk about it but he seems to be totally unaware of how off the wall he was reacting.

    Comment by But_Mommie (original poster) at 9:00 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I would, then, just continue to talk about it after the fact, then, like you are doing . . . tell him what he can try to remember to do next time. Eventually, he will start to remember what to do in the heat of the moment, because it sounds like it might need to come from an internal place.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 9:05 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • You've said he "loses control of his ears"...have you tried VISUAL reminders to calm down and think things over? Maybe a chart or a poster...for example I've seen a child that loves trains use a picture of a steam engine overheating as a visual clue to take it easy. Or even something as simple as a volume control.

    Answer by sbenbenek at 10:16 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • have you try OP therapy for him it worked wonders on my ds 9 (aspergers) they teach them how to tolerate these things better and they also give you the tools to nip most meltdowns in the bud before they start...

    Answer by cara124 at 12:33 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.