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No sex

With my first son, my husband wouldn't have sex with me for 6 months, from 6 months pregnant to 3 months after he was born. Now I'm pregnant again and we've only had sex 3 times since I got pregnant. (I'm over four months along.)
I don't know what to do or how much more I can take. I've tried flirting, lingerie, notes. He'd been to counseling about his sex drive. I just emailed an advice website. I actually cry about not having sex more than I have sex. I'm at the end of my patience with this!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:33 PM on Dec. 2, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Girl im so sorry my husband and I only had sex 3 times when I was pregnant and then after I found out that my husband was looking at porn all the time I don’t know what it is but some men just don’t want to have sex with there wife’s when there pregnant . But you do need to watch out and make sure that he is not watching porn because that will take him away form wanting to do it with you im so sorry and I know what you are going through just pray and keep your head up. Iv been there two
    kristyleigh614

    Answer by kristyleigh614 at 10:38 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Some men don't find woman attractive when they're pregnant and some men do! I happen to be married to one that didn't. I didn't get any during those 9 months either : ( ..both pregnancies!
    But I still felt very beautiful and I think that there's nothing more beautiful than being pregnant. I'm sorry you're going through this. {{HUGS}}
    happy2bme7

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 10:43 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Some men are afraid to have sex when you're pregnant and it takes a while to get the delivery thing out of their head. Only thing I know to tell you would be to take matters in to your own hands (just make sure to keep the toys extra clean to lessen chances of problems if there's penetration). Sounds like you've been down this road and you know where it leads. Sex isn't everything tho.... when you get down to the bottom of the bucket, you gotta figure out what's the most important thing in there and work with it.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:59 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Its a mental thing like you are now the mother of his children. Now he thinks of you in a more pure way, I wouldn't take it personally actually it is sweet! No sex does suck but thats why you buy toys. Who knows that might get a spark going with him then just fan the flame. We woman know how to improvise ;) You keep your chin up all of us go thru this!

    1countrygal

    Answer by 1countrygal at 11:40 PM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Couldnt keep my hubby OFF of me...I was getting sick of it hahaha

    Im sorry girl DEMAND IT, tie him up and take it =) lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • im SO sick of women saying that its normal and sex isnt everything. i agree it shouldnt be #1in a marriage, but its damn important! and just because its COMMON for men to lose their sex drive, it is by no means NORMAL. why else would it be called a sexual disorder!? i am glad that your husband went to counceling about it. that shows effort. i have a hubby with a low sex drive too. he will be getting tested for low testosterone, a cause for a low drive. who wants their sex life to solely consist of toys!?
    IGotLuckyInKy

    Answer by IGotLuckyInKy at 8:58 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • oh and i should also add that while i wouldnt suggest "settling"... why dont you make a compromise? on days my hubby is too tired for sex... i demanded that he take care of me in "other" ways. and even tho it isnt the same as intercoarse. he makes sure i am satisfied. it feel good to just have him involved. because sex by yourself gets boring after a while!
    IGotLuckyInKy

    Answer by IGotLuckyInKy at 9:08 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Does he tell you what is going on...why he is this way?
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 12:27 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • He says that he doesn't know why he's not interested and tries to reassure me that it's not related to my appearance...
    and I have taken matters "into my own hands". It's not the same. I feel like we hardly have time to go on dates anymore and this would be a good way to reconnect on a regular basis even with our busy schedule.
    SashaJoaquin

    Answer by SashaJoaquin at 6:40 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

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