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Do I want?...

A child psychologist, someone who deals in pediatric counseling, or a behavior therapist... My DS is 5. He's always had a temper, he gets it from me. As stubborn as they come, but determined as hell at lets nothing stand in his way. Generally a very happy child, he's had his moments over the years. 2 years ago my fiance and I got together, and there really wasn't any issues between him and DS. As the relationship evolved, and last fall we moved in together, his role in Ds's life began to change over to more of a father figure then just a guy DS could hang out with. DS's father isn't in the picture at all. A lot has changed for DS over the last year. A new school last august, moved in with fiance in Sept. Found out we were expecting on Oct. Got engaged this past March. DS is not handling all the change well, he's been getting more and more angry all the time. Very easily frustrated, and his teachers at school have began expressing concerns. When it's just him and I he's still the happiest child on earth, but he's not ok with sharing me now with fiance. Tonight he had a tantrum while we were at a friends and the behaviors I saw concern me greatly. They were not normal 5 year old I'm upset/tired behaviors. There was true deep underlying anger/resentment/frustration... There was a look in his eyes I've never seen before, and it tells me he's screaming for help dealing with things, and I can't offer all the help on my own. However, I've never dealt with counseling or psychologists, so I'm not sure the actual difference or which one to take him to see. What I want dealt with is the anger, why is he angry, and why is he acting out very very violently. And how to teach him better methods to control the anger. This isn't just your typical I don't want to listen to mom so i'm going to trow a tantrum because i didn't get my way behavior... His bio-dad is bipolar, and anxiety disorders/mental health issues run in my family. So on top of being concerned about how he's handling all the changes, I'm worried there might actually be a mental health issue going on. His pediatrician isn't really any help, any time I express concerns he says he's a normal 5 year old kid. Without going into details, the behaviors I saw tonight are no where near normal. So in your opinion, who is the specialist I need to be seeing? I can make some calls tomorrow, but I just don't even know where to start, because I've never dealt with any of the above professions. Thanks

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Apr. 21, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • Try checking his diet. Cut out all dyes, especially Red 40 & Yellow 5.

    Have him tested for THE WARRIOR GENE. Dr. Phil had a show on it.

    I know how things can be with that...good luck!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • I have no idea but would call a child psychologist first if it were me. I'm sure all the change has a lot o do with it...it's a lot to handle in just one year. I hope everything turns out ok and there are no serious underlying issus.
    Good luck
    Nicoles2LilRams

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 11:16 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • My oldest went through alot of changes at 7 yrs old. He started acting up, striking out disappearing in school. two times the school called me to tell me they lost my child. He was hiding. I had him talk to the school psychologist, he also talked to our minister. I waited to long though he starting striking out against his youger sibling and I had a baby....He ended up going to live with his bio-dad which to this day I regret..I should have gotten him more professional help.I also have a son who is bi-polar and a 5 yr old grandson wih the same diagnosis. It took me a very long time to get the help for my son that he needed.Not for lack of trying. It was 26 yrs ago and they weren't giving those diagnosis to children yet. I fought long and hard. His didn't really show magorly until he turned 12 and was sexually assaulted . He had ADD and things were just unclear because there was no family history. Be your sons advocate.
    d.boughton

    Answer by d.boughton at 11:27 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

  • You are probably going to have to get a referral from your pediatrician, right? My opinion is to also find a new ped bcuz anytime your dr doesn't take your concerns about your child seriously, they need to be replaced. Since you expect mental health issues, you may want to start w/ the child psychiatrist, however, you don't want anyone to to "label" him and immediately put him on meds. Where I live there is a state agency called MHMRA that would be a great resource for you. Maybe your state has the same or similar. Try these links. I pray that you get some clarity and direction. I also commend you for dealing with this matter head on instead of being in denial or sweeping it under the rug.

    http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/center_index.php?id=37

    http://www.mhmraharris.org/
    Proverbs_31

    Answer by Proverbs_31 at 11:40 PM on Apr. 21, 2011

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