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How to say it nicely

How would you tell the grandmother of your 3 month old baby that she can not feed him solid foods let alone table foods until you feel he is ready for them? Also she thinks that she will chew his food up and then feed it to him.
I talked to my sons father and asked him to explain to her that we will be the ones to decide when he will eat solids and that he will not eat regular food till after he turns one. And I think chewing food then feeding it to a child is unhygienic. I am sure that there are others out there that do that but this is our son and we should be able to raise him as we see fit not based on what either of our mothers have done.
I don't think that my boyfriend will actually talk to her about this and I don't want to start problems between us but I want her to realize that all I am asking for is respect for our wishes concerning our son.


Asked by angelmine2011 at 2:36 AM on Apr. 22, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • When you're mother of a baby and stressed it can be difficult to see things in perspective. Nice you can come on here and get ideas even if they seem obvious, once you've read them. LOL.

    Chewing food for baby is very unhygenic. My dentist explained that the bacteria that cause tooth decay do not exist in a child's mouth until they are put there - mother chewing food, sucking his paci clean, others using his toothbrush, etc. So avoid all those things as much as your possibly can for as long as you can. Maybe you can explain to her that it's bad for baby's teeth when they emerge, if those bacteria are already in his mouth from food you've chewed. Try to make it more of a "we don't agree with adults chewing his food" rather than "you're not to chew his food" sort of thing.
    As for candy, I agree and good luck. My first didn't have candy but it's not so easy when they have older brothers and sisters eating it!

    Answer by judimary at 2:55 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I would say this

    I totally appreciate your help and support but I wont be leaving the baby alone in your care until you can stick to the feeding instructions I've given you. When it's time for solids I'll let you know. And they'll be pureed in a machine, not your mouth.

    Answer by hibbingmom at 2:39 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Simply tell her that your baby is not ready. If she says "Well BF ate like this at this age", simply tell her "We don't feel he's ready for it. And until we do, we'd appreciate you respecting our choice."

    Answer by laird6372 at 2:41 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I would simply prepare the food i'm going to feed the baby. you can choose to ask the grandma to participate in feeding your baby foods only you prepare. Your baby, your rules.

    Answer by istealcookies at 2:47 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I dont think I could tell someone not to chew up food and feed it to my baby nicely...that is beyond nasty

    Answer by shivasgirl at 3:28 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Remind her that the child is YOURS and you make all decisions. And then tell her how nasty it is she feeds your child food she's chewed...that's just too disgusting.

    Answer by meooma at 9:03 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • One thing I will say about grandparents, is that just because you ask/tell/suggest they do or don't do something they probably will still do what they want.

    My inlaws are great but don't always do what we ask. Its up to you how big of a deal you want to make of it. I have come to terms with it mostly, he is 7 now and for the most part knows what he shoudl and shoudln't be doing.

    As far as chewing the food then feeding it to the baby, I have never heard of this! I woudl put my foot down on this one for sure.

    Answer by choco_mom at 10:25 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • That all seems so easy to come up with and I am ashamed that I didn't think of those. To tired I guess (or hope that's it lol) After we get through on this problem we will have to deal with what kinds of food she feeds him if and when I leave him with her. See both Masons dad and I have a lot of over weight people in our family and since his dad is a little over weight to I want us to make sure he eats healthy with as little sugar as possible. He is (or will be) a kid and I don't plan on keeping him completely from candy but his sister never knew what a candy isle at the store was till she was 3. and I hope to do the same with my son to make sure he grows into a healthy life style with good eating habits and proper exercise. It took months just to get his father to understand why I wanted to do this and I hope bf's mom is not as stubborn.

    Comment by angelmine2011 (original poster) at 2:47 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

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