Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Opinions on spankings...

There are some mothers that believes in spanking and there other mothers that believes that spankings are wrong. What are your opinions on it cafemoms?

Answer Question
 
Diamond2010

Asked by Diamond2010 at 2:42 AM on Apr. 22, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 15 (2,308 Credits)
Answers (26)
  • my position: time and place for everything. and nothing works ALL the time. we have many different disciplines for the many things kiddos do wrong or to correct behaviors we'd like them to improve. We never spank angry, or with objects, or if kiddo is ill/tired/hungry. But sometimes we do.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 2:46 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Our job is to teach our kids and they learn by example. There is never ever ever any benefit in spanking. You are teaching them to hit when someone does something they don't like, or when they get angry. And when you spank, it makes a child angry and resentful. It never solves a problem. You want to teach your child, you should connect with them. See things from their perspective as much as you can. Listen more than you talk. Keep them safe from danger, and explain things to them. Even young kids understand a surprising amount of what you say. Keep your relationship positive, right from the start, and you'll have great, loving kids who respect you.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 2:46 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I was raised with spankings all the time, by anything my parents could get their hands on sometimes. I am not totally against spanking, if its just 'spanking'. There is a fine line between spanking and child abuse IMO, but if my kids are misbehaving or they did something bad and all other forms of punishment havent worked...then a quick swat or two on the behind is what they get (with my hand). Now sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't, but then time-out doesn't work 100% of the time either..so...I think its up to the parents and whatever works for them.
    purpleangel_70

    Answer by purpleangel_70 at 2:50 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • No need, it doesn't work, as proved by my first 2. My last 2 are very well behaved. I talk to them like they are human beings. It's amazing what that will do
    adnilm

    Answer by adnilm at 2:51 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Just think of the irony in spanking. Child hits/bites/scratches sibling. Spank spank. "Don't hurt ur Sis/bro!"
    Child runs into the street. Spank spank. "u could've been really hurt"
    Child has a tantrum. Spank spank. "stop!". (oh yeah that's going to help the child deal w their frustration!)
    But wait! I have more!
    Child steals. Spank spank. "that's wrong n disrespectful"
    Omg! It's so obvious spanking helps the parent release their anger. All it teaches the child is...oh man, when mom n dad find out I did xyz then I'm in trouble. But if I don't get caught.... He he he!
    Vero0724

    Answer by Vero0724 at 3:00 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • like hibbingmom said, there is a time and place for everything. What works on one kid wont work on another. I grew up with spankings and it just made me more defiant and more likely to get into some trouble. I noticed my son was the same way if I spanked him, so I don't do it. The threat of going to his room is worse to him than any spanking ever was.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 3:13 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I spank my kids and will defend my right yo do so proudly
    timbrikaylamom

    Answer by timbrikaylamom at 3:26 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I was against spanking for the first 2 years of my daughters life. I did time outs, we had talks, toys were taken away. Nothing worked and she got extremely out of hand. She would bite, yell, hit, just plain ignore me so i started spanking. I don't do it often but when I do she listens and tells me she's sorry.
    TiffanieK

    Answer by TiffanieK at 3:54 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Child steals. Spank spank. "that's wrong n disrespectful"
    Omg! It's so obvious spanking helps the parent release their anger. All it teaches the child is...oh man, when mom n dad find out I did xyz then I'm in trouble. But if I don't get caught.


    If a child is taught to think like that they will do that with any punishment.

    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 7:40 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I do not believe it works I have never done it and hope my kids do not do it with their children, it doesn't work period.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:18 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.