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I am starting to feel guilty!!

Ok I decided to keep my child back in kindergarten one more year. He gets what he is supposed to be doing homework wise but he is still immature and doesn't want to just sit and do the work. I talked to his teacher and she complete agrees with me that if we were to have him go to 1st grade he will get behind and I don't want that. I don't want to have him struggle through school. But now that graduation pics are coming up and the end of the year and I am starting to feel guilty. I know in my heart that it's the right thing to do but I just can't help it.

Anyone else have this problem or have a suggestion to I don't keep feeling guilty?

Answer Question

Asked by jnb71584 at 10:23 AM on Apr. 22, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 18 (5,349 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • When i was in school they had an inbetween thing that they would put kids in that weren't ready to start 1st grade. Being young he still has time to catch up if that is what you wanted to do.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 10:25 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Private tutoring. I think that was my answer in your initial post as well.

    Answer by meooma at 10:29 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Why feel guilty for doing what's best for your child? Your time and energy could be better spent getting him the help he needs. This is not an issue in the grand scheme of his educational needs.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • A lot of parents are doing this. I know someone who did and noticed her daughter did exceptionally well when she started school because of her maturity level. If many parents do it, then it's not a problem. There are a lot of tough standards for kindergarteners now that weren't included in the past. Kinder was meant to socialize the child and prepare them for academics in 1st grade. Now they need to know sight words by the end of the yr. It's crazy.
    Because of this, I struggle to have older kids work in cooperative groups. Whether it was for a math project or playing a simple game outside in the playground. They never had the opportunity to learn social skills in a classroom setting. So they're projects were affected. That's my 2cents

    Answer by Vero0724 at 10:32 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I did same thing with my ds and I felt bad too,just don't make a big deal about it and remember it's what is best for him.

    Answer by sarah389 at 10:38 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I think you are giving him the greatest gift you can give him. It can only help. I kept my son back too. He is starting late because I know he wasn't ready.

    Answer by mompam at 10:50 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I think it would depend. Is he not doing the work because he's bored and needs the extra challenge, or is it because he's just not ready for the structured environment? If it's the first, then I would probably re-consider, because if he's bored academically, then that's just going to add to behavior issues at this age. If it's because of the second, then I wouldn't feel bad about it, because it's better to take that time now and "nip it in the bud" rather than wait and try to address it down the road, when the problem just gets worse, and he gets labeled (if even in his own mind as far as "this is how I act - I'm the class clown, class troublemaker, or whatever).

    Either way though, it sounds like you're being an "on top of things" mom and are being proactive in his education - which is great and nothing to feel guilty about :-)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:01 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Oh, one other thought - it's better to do this now, when they're still young enough that you can put your own "spin" on it as to why, and his current classmates are also young enough that they probably aren't going to notice and think too much about it, either. (I'm not saying lie to him, but you can present it in a positive way.) The older he gets, the harder this will be. Also, eventually, this behavior will affect his ability to do the work, and that will cause a lot of other problems for him. I spent several years tutoring elem age kids when my kids were that age, and there were self esteem issues as well as the academic issues that could have been avoided if, honestly, their parents had chosen when they were younger to hold them back a yr and let them get a more solid foundation to build on, kwim?

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:07 AM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • You should do what is best for your child and not feel guilty about that.

    Answer by bether89 at 2:42 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

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