I have been struggling with him again and it is getting worse- he has been suspended 3 times this yr, some of its minor but some of its for defying authority, so my SO comes home after working for 2 months, and has been home a week and my son has been brought home by the cops twice. When he was sent to his room and getting corrected my son starts screaming get off me you effin bitch to SO. ( my SO has been his step dad since he was 4, so its not like this is some strange guy trying to tell him what to do. ) then my son runs away and wont get in the car with me and SO tells me he doesnt want him living here any more, so SO calls my sons dad, my sons dad just got his shit together and says - hell take him back. I just feel sick and dont know if sending him to his dad is the right thing to do, but then he doesnt mind me or SO or teachers and if he keeps going down this road you know where he will be. so what would you do?Answer Question
Answer by mama2twins07 at 11:40 PM on Dec. 2, 2008
I left a comment on your first half of the journal. I still would say the same thing even after reading the second half. Does he behave better for his dad? Are there resources for his Dad to use if needed such as counseling, juvenile programs for behavior issues, support groups? How does your son feel about going back to his dads?
Answer by Southerncharmes at 11:41 PM on Dec. 2, 2008
Answer by argcwg at 11:52 PM on Dec. 2, 2008
I can give all the advice in the world but I am not the one who lives it day by day (that's my little disclaimer for my advice I'm about to give). I would keep him there with you guys. I would get EVERYONE including your SO into the counseling sessions. I would find a support group for both of you. This is something that your child will always deal with. Now, his behavior may improve significantly, but he will always have those tendencies to act out. It all comes down to "control" for your son. That is something that has to be "learned" for him...it does not come natural. Most of his actions are out of reflex...he can't control them, and he does them before he realizes it.
I believe his Dad and his wife are not equipped to handle your son right now given the circumstances with the other children and his work schedule. Plus, your son has expressed not wanting to go back. That's my advice.
Answer by Southerncharmes at 11:58 PM on Dec. 2, 2008
Left out a little info. My nephew has the same disorder. He is now 22yrs old. He is able to keep a job and has learned how to control his anger and attitude for the most part. He has had problems since he was a young child. It took our entire family to raise him...meaning...his mom, his grandparents, my husband and I. We took him in for a year. During that time I tutored him for his GED. He succeeded on the second try with lots of encouragement and praise on our part. He does not function well when living with other people...hence...we had to ask him to leave our home. Now, he is living by himself and is doing much better on a day to day basis. Of course he is a grown adult, not a child anymore.
Answer by Southerncharmes at 12:03 AM on Dec. 3, 2008
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Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 PM on Dec. 3, 2008