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7 Bumps

My husband and I think my daughter was abused adult content

I know this is a major conclusion to jump to. My husband recently started having really early memories of his Mother and Sister touching him inappropriately. I don't want to get into details because its just too painful. He never told me this before, and we have been married for 5 years.

Recently, my daughter has stopped wanting to spend the night with his mother, whom previously she was very close to. She started having night terrors, wetting the bed, and making odd sexual gestures towards me. Such as rubbing my face and looking 'deeply' into my eyes. I brushed it off as her mimicking my DH and I because we have always been very affectionate. The last time she had a sleepover there, she came home with really irritated private parts and a yeast infection. Well, I thought it was maybe from her having accidents and not cleaning up properly. But now I am wondering if its something else. So last night my DH told me that he had suspicions of my MIL doing something to her. I just don't know where to go from here, because my gut feeling as a mother knows that my DD's recent behavior is not normal, and kind of classic signs of abuse. I also don't want to jump to conclusions.

One more thing to add, about a year ago out of the blue my MIL called my DH and asked him if he thought that my DD had been abused by my father. (who she rarely spends time with and is never alone-he is a gambler, alcoholic. We haven't seen him in over a year) I just think its strange that she would ask that out of the blue.

Am I overreacting? What should we do now? Should we call the police? I know I am going to get my DD into some kind of therapy. BTW- she is 5. and I haven't asked her any questions because I dont want to lead her into saying something....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Apr. 22, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (31)
  • Wow this is a hard one... I think therapy would be the best 1st step, also maybe a doctors appt. so she can have a thorough exam maybe?

    Answer by BluEyedCrazy at 2:47 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • hugsI don't have any advice but I'm giving you a bump...this is a terrible situation that no family should have to go through and I am terribly sorry. I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers and thoughts


    Answer by Lucky209 at 2:47 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • If you have concerns, make an appointment with her Ped and have her checked out. That's the only way you will know for sure. If her Ped examines her and finds any signs of abuse, they will HAVE to call the police. If that happens then you have to share your fears with the police.

    Answer by spoiled_wife at 2:48 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Get her help a therapist can better tell you if you need to get the police involved either way you will some peace of mind knowing that you have done everything you can to help you little girl.
    I am so sorry you are going thru this it is a parents worst nightmare.

    Answer by Graciesmom528 at 2:48 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I would limit her time with MIL and SIL. Make sure she is not alone at anytime under any cercumstances. As for the policee getting involved. I think that if it were me a suspected something like that I would call them. It would be hard but if you DH think this is happening to your DD then something has to be done.

    Answer by Liamsmom09 at 2:50 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Talk to your daughter and ask. If he is starting to remember he needs to stop sending her over there an call the police or CPS. Take her to a doctor to be examined.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 2:50 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • My step-daughter was mentally, physically and sexually abused by her mother and her string of men that were in and out of the house. I know what you're going through; I don't think you're jumping to conclusions. Message me if you would like to talk. XoXo

    Answer by Kari727 at 2:52 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I would take her to the dr and talk to him about your suspisions and let him be the one to talk to her (don't even ask her if her grandma touched her...if taken to court it can be taken as she was coherest). They will talk to her and exam her and then if needed, get the authoritues involved. I hope and pray she wasn't abused. I am also sorry that you guys have to go through this.

    Answer by sondamom0828 at 2:52 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Doctor or Therapist would be my 1st start and then from there.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 2:53 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • So so sorry for you and DH, and now your baby! If you have any doubts what so ever about MIL, stop taking her to see her. You are a great momma that's easy to see:) You know something in not right with her, mommies just know these things. I would take the percations and make an appt with her doctor. GL and I pray it is only a yeast infection honey.

    Answer by yesmaam at 2:54 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

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