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How do you tell your child to respond to a bully?

Do you tell them it's okay to hit back (to protect themselves) or go tell a teacher? Do you tell them to run away or ignore them?


Asked by jbmorrison at 3:04 PM on Apr. 22, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 6 (139 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Sometimes it's necessary to defend yourself (physically) before you can go get an adult. My son will never get in trouble with me for reasonably defending himself. I think a lot of these bullies get away with these things because kids are told that they shouldn't respond back physically. I don't think a kid should *have* to get physical if they don't want to but, I think defending yourself is never wrong.

    If someone physically attacks me I am without a doubt going to fight back; why would I ask my kid to get pummelled when I wouldn't put up with that myself?


    Answer by BubbaLuva at 1:42 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • I tell my son to tell the adult that's in charge and if they don't take care of it & the bully hits him again or pushes him again, to do it back. He tried to take care of the right way and if the parents have a problem with my child defending himself than that's their problem.

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 3:10 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I HAVE told them to walk away.... but if it doesnt work then stand up for themselves. Never start a fight but end one.

    Both my older kids have had to deal with brats (I hate the word bully and think it is WAY over used). My son ended up close fisted hitting the kid in the jaw (after the other kid made the first move)... the kid went straight down and never talked to my son again.

    My daughter had some little twit smack talking her. I told my daughter to buck up and stop being a door mat... FINALLY my daughter took my advice and verbally took her down. The girl backed off and my daughter have never had issue with her again.

    I believe you do not help your children by teaching them to run...they need to stand up and not be doormats.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • If they cannot handle it I tell them to go and ask an adult for help.

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 3:07 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • well it happened to my son last year in 2nd grade. Everyday this kid came up to him and would smack him and my son took it for months and one day the kid did it and my son took the kid and threw him, and i wasn't mad at him because he was defending himself. this isn't normal behavior for him either. but the kid has never borthered him again.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 3:10 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I tell my kids the same thing that was told to me: I don't want you fighting, but if THEY start it and you're protecting yourself or another kid, YOU end it. There ARE other ways to resolve conflict, but you do NOT have to let other kids pick on you. If the teachers or adults in charge don't do anything to help or protect you, come tell ME and I'll MAKE SURE it gets taken care of.

    I was bullied horribly through most of my school years.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 4:30 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • first tell and when that doesnt work fight back

    Answer by flipper4u21 at 3:15 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Tell the kids to stop. If that doesn't work, tell an adult. If it still persists, take care of business!

    Answer by cheekycherub at 3:34 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • i tell my daughter to tell me (or adult in charge) and try to avoid and ignore the bully, if it doesn't work only THEN do you stand up against it.

    my nephew can be a bully at times and she handles him pretty well.. she gives him one chance to be nice if he blows it she comes to me, and stays away from him so hes left to play by himself. if he decides to continue she hits back and then he stops. (hes kinda a cry baby when he gets what he gives back and doesnt like not getting attention so he's learned with her he has to play nice or she wont play with him at all)

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 4:24 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Stand up for themselves!! I will always tell my children other kids bleed like you bleed, no reason to be scared of another child! Fight back!!! I'll be damned if my child commits suicide over stupid bullying that could've been stopped by sticking up for themselves! Bullies only pick on the weak and kids that do not fight back!

    Answer by MissLoveLyfe at 4:52 PM on Apr. 22, 2011