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2 Bumps

Just a question since I'm new here: Has anyone ever posted a question(s) hoping for positive feedback but got bashed instead? I was just wondering because if I see a question that bothers me, I don't respond to it. I believe that everyone has a right to his/her opinion regardless to what I think because its not my problem. Plus drama raises my anxiety levels. What do you think or How do you feel about it?


Asked by yummysmummy at 3:26 PM on Apr. 22, 2011 in About CafeMom

Level 17 (3,478 Credits)
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Answers (11)
  • I remember the first post I made my son was colic and I was at work and hadn't slept in days and I was crying so hard and so upset and frustrated and guilty etc and didn't know what to do and one of the first answers basically told me I was a horrible mother and didn't deserve to have my child.. I was devistated to get that "advice" from a place I looked for support from.. I backed off from asking for help for a while and met some AMAZING women and became CM friends with them and personally got support from them - after years of seeing this bashing, although it bothers me to watch and see, I've just learned not to ever be one of those.. or try not to. Keep your head up and you'll meet some really amazing people and get the help support and friendships you are looking for

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:44 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I have seen very good advice taken as bashing because the original poster didnt want to see the truth or have the "real" issue pointed out.

    On the other hand I have seen good advice written in a very nasty way... which just doesnt help anyone.

    On the third hand (lol... if ya have one)... some times I think people try to make a funny quip but the sarcastic joke just doesnt go over well when typed. I think sometimes it may have not meant to be mean...but funny... but didnt translate well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • i don't let it bother me. you have to remember two things: 1-this is the internet, and you do not know these people anymore than you know the bankteller at a bank different than the one in which your account(s) are held. you can't let what a stranger on the internet says get under your skin. ignore the trash, and use what you can out of the rest. 2-see the first sentence.

    Answer by dullscissors at 3:45 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Some questions here I just WONT answer because the subject matter is to charged or the poster is just to stupid to help. I get bashed for good and bad advice and I just dont care what anyone else thinks. Im entitled to my opinion.

    Answer by vbruno at 4:10 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • It's an unreasonable expectation here are Cafemom. This is an online social network where you are asking complete strangers their opinion on a personal situation in your life. You cannot expect to get nothing but positive warm and fuzzies. Not happening. Take the advice you like and ignore what you don't. Answers is a great place to hang out.


    Answer by meooma at 5:36 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • There would be a lot less drama on this site if people would figure out it's a social networking site, no different than facebook or myspace, not an online support group.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 6:16 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I am thinking about this one . . . .and . . . the negative comments don't really bother me. When I post a question, it is because I am looking for feedback from ALL angles. If I am getting bashed, well, that is a good indicator that I am seeing the situation probably in a not-so-heathy way. So, I always try to consider what the posters are really trying to say.

    When many people are strong in their answers, it is usually not "bashing", but reality checking. It usually has to do with a situation that is harmfull in some way.

    The true "bash" is really quite infrequent, as, every once in a while ANON pops up with something out-of-this-world.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 3:39 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • What did you ask?

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:42 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • That's cafemom for you!

    Answer by kyuteangl88 at 4:44 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I quit asking for advice for that simple reason. I posted a vent about something a friend had said about me, and wanted to know how people would deal with it. All I got was bitchy, rude remarks basically telling me to get over it, when it was honestly something that kinda hurt my feelings and wasn't the nicest thing for a "friend" to say. So now, I just don't ask questions anymore. I'll post in crazy for credits for friends who want points (I could care less about them, but don't mind helping those who do it for fun) and that's about it. Occasionally, I'll ask things that I know I'll get constructive answers on, but no more "How would you handle this?" questions, that's for sure.

    Answer by Eviesmommy at 5:03 PM on Apr. 22, 2011