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4 Bumps

Stepmother yelled at my son who is autistic and my x admitted to it

My x has a new woman in his life who seems to be important as he is now living with her! i do not have a problem with her as I am glad to see him moving on. What I do have a problem with is her yelling at my child. We have a 9 yr old son (whois autistic) and she yelled at him on Wednesday and he came in to tell me. I of course went up in flames.

I am very protective over my kids and I do not appreciate her yelling at them. I am not ok with her even discipling them. she has seen them about 3-4 times. I talked to my x about this and he admitted to her yelling at my son. My x said my two sons were fighting so she yelled at them. im not ok with this and I dont think he should be either. I expect him to take care of them when they are under his care.


Answer Question
 
selaranda

Asked by selaranda at 3:32 PM on Apr. 22, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 10 (442 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • I am remarried and i do not let my husband discipline my kids nor do i discipline his kids. I let him know so he can take care of it or vice versa.
    selaranda

    Comment by selaranda (original poster) at 3:33 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I would have issue with that woman yelling at my kids too, because of the fact that she has only met them 3-4 times and is not yet a stable figure in their lives. She needs to learn her damn place until it becomes her place to disicpline them.
    Kari727

    Answer by Kari727 at 3:36 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • She should not have yelled at your kids. At the most she should have done was tell them gently to stop fighting.
    Diamond2010

    Answer by Diamond2010 at 3:41 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I agree with you to be upset about her yelling at your kids. I don't think that is appropriate behavior for any adult to a child imho. However I don't really agree with the no disciplining step children idea. If that is what works for everyone involved in your situation great but I personally couldn't do it. Being a step parent is tough especially if the children live with you. I couldn't raise a child every day and not have any say to discipline them. I would certainly discipline them along the same lines as my partner but to have no power i think invites problems.

    But even with that said I wouldn't think your ex's GF should get that ability without them being married or having been together for a long period of time.
    kayslay

    Answer by kayslay at 3:44 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Ok so.... next time tell her to just let them fight.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 3:47 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Seriously? Either way this woman loses. She yelled at BOTH of the kids to stop fighting. Would you rather let them duke it out?
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:51 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Id be upset as well. We have our agreement set up pretty well (ex and I). His gf (now ex lol) used to think she could yell at my son and I disagreed, so did a judge. They werent married. She was nothing to my son. Nothing. She had no rights to do anything with my son unless they got married and even then the court order limited it. If they are visiting him then your ex needs to be the one doing the discipline and not her.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 3:56 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Well, if she's just a girl friend to your ex, she's not the step mother...secondly, you have every right to say who can and you cannot discipline your children and its up to your ex to respect your rules and handle the boys when they are in his care...I don't think you should be that upset with the girl firend from stopping your kids from fighting...as a matter of fact, I think I would concentrate more on why the boys were fighting and try to get them to understand that they can solve problems without fighting....
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:01 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • While I agree that a stepmother should have her boundaries when it comes to disciplining her spouses children...there will be times when circumstances arise for her to intervene and/or interact with the children...as much as you or any other bio mom may not like it. The kids were fighting. She yelled.
    My son and my dh's son used to fight CONSTANTLY in the beginning and I would say nothing..leaving it all up to dad to try to make it stop...I;d only talk to my son about it later in private. It didnt work out to well. So I had my words with them BOTH.HIs sons mother never had a problem about it. I didnt verbally abuse him..I simply acted as the adult in the presence of misbehaving children at the time. Nothing less, nothing more.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 4:04 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • at matthewscandi---Im not ok with them fighting and i addressed that issue but im not going to let some stranger yell at my kids. All brothers and sisters fight my boys are 9 and 6 of course they fight they were arguing not fist fighting.
    selaranda

    Comment by selaranda (original poster) at 4:06 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

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