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Cemetery Question

umm, my brother and I are 12 yrs apart in age. Our Mom has two miscarriages between us. Our infant brothers are burried in a city cemetery in our home town.
My question is: do you know, if we'd need premission to fix up these plots? I'm sure not just anyone can go start moving stuff around. My brother is just like, we're family we can do it. I'd rather get premission from someone...
Anyhow, all that is here is a metal plaqe stating infant son of... I've looked up actualy birthday date and death dates and thier given names. (freaked me out, that my son, as the same first name as one of them. My brother and I were never told the second babies name. We did know the name of the first baby, because there was a birth certificate in our parents papers)
Anyhow, is speaking to my Mom about a month ago, after the death of her Aunt - I'd asked her what her wishes were when she passed away. She started that she'd want her ashes to be placed with her two infant son's. Is this possable?
And do you have an suggestions, on a way to incorortate this into the memorial we'd like to place on our brother's grave sites?
My children and I went by the cemetery this morning, as we're in town for Easter with my Mom. My son is a Cub Scout entering into Boy Scouts this next year - I'd suggested to him that fixing up the graves could be a service project for him, if he wanted.
My brother called, as he won't be home for Easter this year. I have to break that to my Mom, later today. AND I spoke to him about fixing up the grave sites, as we'd talked about it over the years several times, but never acted upon it. BUT I also, don't know, if we should include her in the fixing up of the grave sites or suprize her with the finished project..???


Asked by SassySue123 at 5:17 PM on Apr. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Level 22 (15,154 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You have to find out what your state regulations are AND what the cemetery regulations are. When we were trying to figure out what to do with my parent's bodies - we knew Dad wanted cremation, but Mom hadn't decided firm as of their deaths - we asked about mom in a coffin and dad's ashes with her - per state regulations of one body per plot - we'd have had to have had 2 plots for them. Instead, we cremated both of them and eventually put their cremains in a double wall niche.

    As for the headstones, etc. You purchase, they install. Find a stone mason that works with that particular cemetery. You mother may or may not be able to rest with her sons. Its all on regulations. Like having to purchase a box to put the body in before cremation because they cannot handle the body on its own - it is considered disrespectful - hello they're dead.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 5:56 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • fixing up how?
    yes,your mom's ashes can be placed in one of the graves. My grandma's ashes are being placed in her mom's grave this spring. It costs us $1500. They dig a round core out of the ground and put them in

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:20 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • put up a proper head-stone and maybe a cement ring around the plot. Right now, there is just a metal genric looking tag, just put in the ground.
    Open to suggestions...

    Comment by SassySue123 (original poster) at 5:28 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • No,you can't do that on your own. The cemetery installs all that stuff

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:30 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Cement ring around the plots probably won't be allowed as they have to be able to mow it...That's why some cemetery's only allow ground level headstones, for lawn care purposes. But you can get metal headstones with vases that can "pop" out of them.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 5:57 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Twinsplus2more, really here they have elaberate headstones and rings around the plots. Even cast-iron fencing. Guess, I'll check into two head-stones - Thanks, Ladies..

    Comment by SassySue123 (original poster) at 8:49 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I would go speak with the person over the cemetery and tell them what you would like to do. They will be able to tell you what you will be allowed to do.

    Answer by cassey.e at 1:07 AM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • It would determine the number of plots on the site. If you want to cut the grass, add head stones and decorations you can, but you need to get the rules of the cemetery (some don't allow certain things). As far as permission, you need your mom's, that's it (and follow the rules).

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:16 AM on Apr. 23, 2011