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2 Bumps

So you have a family member that no matter what you do, you can't do it right??

I'm so tired of it. No matter how you do things, what you say. It's not right. You don't spend your money right, or raise your kids right, you don't act right. No matter how nice you are. It's unreal. The thing is, the person doing this to us, has tons of issues themselves. This person has no right to be worrying about how others live their lives. I'm so tired of her telling us we don't manage our money, we supposedly don't watch our kids,my husbandand I supposedly are in trouble, and so much more. And get this, I have no idea how this person would know all this about us seeing as we don't share this info with anyone, and we don't see them that often. It's all unfair assumptions. I know I shouldn't care, and I don't have to explain myself to anyone. But it still hurts. I do have to be around this person, for valid reasons I'd rather not get into. So just take my word for it, cutting them off completly isn't an option. Is this ever gonna stop??

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Asked by Musicmom80 at 8:42 PM on Apr. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Level 36 (80,428 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Nope. You can either grin and bear it, tell her to stuff it, or cut her out of your lives entirely. After 30 years of not being good enough because I'm not a boy I've cut my father out of my life. My mother removed herself when I was a baby and I very rarely talk to her now as an adult. SHE gets all pissy about me never wanting to spend time with her when I was a kid, even though she was a virtual stranger to me......But I could go on and on. My parents are jerks so I have nothing to do with them.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 8:48 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • just remember misery loves company

    Answer by KiraStadnik at 8:48 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I wouldn't say that it's like I can't do anything right, but I think my grandma is really critical. She always has been. Recently we had a big family get-together and while sitting there with me and one of her friends she said, "well, at least two of my grandchildren are going to have a career", when finding out my younger brother was going to college. I said, "Yea, I've decided it's important to be a sahm". I felt like it was a little jab at me. She always worked while having four kids and I think she believes that women should be working outside of the home. I don't really care, though. We've never been really close.

    However, if someone treated me like they're treating you, they'd be out of my life. If it weren't an option, I'd let them know to keep their opinions to their self. It drives me nuts when people can't mind their own business.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 9:23 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • OMG lovingsahm, that reminds me, I'm also catching shit and being called lazy for taking the summer off to work on our new home, watch my kids who will be starting school soon, and save money on daycare because DH is working out of state. Just bullshit. It's getting old real fast. There are things I could really tear this person apart for, but I wouldn't dare, because it's not my business. I couldn't imagine speaking to others this way.

    Comment by Musicmom80 (original poster) at 9:46 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Yes, it's my Mother. I try to ignore her as best as I can.

    Answer by dlee620 at 10:01 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • There was a person in our lives (family) who told everyone I was divorcing my dh. My dh was stationed in TX so everyone believed her, why would she lie, right? I was surprised to find this out about us when we came home to visit lol. As far as people not liking what I do (I am a SAHM, home school,my child is special needs) they can kiss my behind. Especially when they make stuff up! In life though, no matter who you are, there's always going to be someone out there to disapprove of what you do. You just live your life the way that works for you and your family. Ignore their ridiculous talk. When you live your life that way, people will see who you truly are and their talk won't mean a thing.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:23 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Musicmom I could have just wrote this myself, sadly not much you can do besides grin & bear it, or confront them and tell them the judemental stuff of highschool days needs to stop...

    Answer by momto4girzls at 10:26 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • You need to be up front and honest about it. My parents were always negative growing up. They never said, "You can do it". They always found the negativity in things. Well when I said I wanted to cloth diaper my dd, all I got was negativity and being told "it will be too hard" blah, blah, blah. I got mad and went off. I said that this was my choice and I was going to do it. And I told them how negative they were and how annoying it was. I said that I am a good mom and I want to try something else and said that if they don't like it then they can get out of my life because I didn't need their negativity. Well, my dad has really backed off. You need to be honest and blunt. If that doesn't work, then cut them off.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 12:04 AM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • This sounds just like my step mom. I feel your pain. We are around her all the time, kinda have to be. There's nothing you can do unfortunately. I just try to remain positive and ignore her the best I can. I keep myself busy in any way I can. If you say something it will more than likely get much worse and you will be more miserable. Just come here and vent to us. We are here for you. And don't let them know they got to you. Just kill them with kindness, that's what I do.

    Answer by clumm at 1:12 AM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • I would have to tell her not to judge you. It's not her place. Tell her that you don't complain about what she's doing and you would like the same in return. If she's like this to everyone, she will get what's coming to her. What goes around comes around.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:21 AM on Apr. 23, 2011

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