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9 Bumps

Advice....please no bashing.

Well I found out online some randoms numbers on hubby's cell earlier this evening. I am in another state staying with his family just for a visit. Well I asked him earlier and he said he was tired of accusations. He turns his cell off and has yet to turn it on! I am beyond upset. I found out a year ago DURING deployment he had talked to a underage girl so I have every right I believe not to trust him. Well he never wants to talk or hear me out about my feelings. Lately he has been treating me like a dog....I just want to know its all cheating isn't it.He gets out of the Navy in 3 months and I think he has just used me for comfort until he gets out. I feel so crazy typing this out.BTW I texted the number and they said they were his girlfriend Sara then said jk I'm a buddy from a work. I'm not sure what to think or believe anymore. I just want to know its not me I've tried so hard stood by him and wanted this marriage to work more than anything. I'm in tears now because I am sick of being unhappy or watching my words around him.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Apr. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • im sorry


    Answer by mamawilbur at 10:21 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I would get out!

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 10:22 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • hugs


    Answer by June_Mama09 at 10:23 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I'm so sorry that you have to go through this! I would say consider ending things, maybe give him a timeline and suggest he proves to you (with a serious effort and counseling) that he wants this marriage to work...and if he doesnt step up to the plate and treat you well then the best thing to do would be hold your head up high and push forward! I'm praying for you chicky...I truly hope it all works out for you soon

    Answer by sbenbenek at 10:25 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • Aw, I'm so sorry. I've been there, done that. I know exactly how you are feeling. I know that sick feeling in your gut. It's a horrible feeling. Actually, when I read your post - I got that sick feeling in my gut. Ugh! I say if he isn't willing to talk to about this ... how are you going to fix it then ? A relationship is 50/50. There's no way to fix this on your own. I'm so sorry, Hun. You have every right to be upset & to "accuse" him bc he did what he did in the past & broke your trust. ya know? BUT in away you gotta trust him or leave. You can't keep doing this to yourself. Ever since my ex did that to me, I told myself that once I get that feeling again in my gut - I'm gone. I refuse to torture myself like that all over again. You deserve better. I know easier said than done. You will leave when you are ready. Good Luck. I wish you the best!

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 10:28 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I'm sorry you are going through this. If I were you, I would try some of those free reverse number searches online , have some proof before confrontation.

    Answer by LoraGardiner at 10:33 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • I say talk to him and set up a counseling appointment for the both of you, or just you if need be.

    sorry, but I don't see anything here that I would consider definite proof of cheating. when you ask about the numbers, what does he say?

    when you say he 'talked' to a underage girl, what do you mean? I'd need more details before I could make a judgement

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:49 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • He has turned his cell off and refuse to talk to me about the numbers. He talked to a underage girl which included pictures exchanged. He refuses to talk to me and I am sick of it. I am still crying because I am not sure what to do. We have been separated a lot and its been horrible on us. I've tried talking everyday to him. I went away to see if things would change and its only gotten worse it seems. He always makes me feel like the bad one and that its all my fault. I feel like a piece of trash to him. I asked him to be honest last night if he wanted this marriage to end he said no. However all other signs point to yes! I just am at the end of my rope with this I hate to leave him because I love him to death but I am sick of the blame the crying and the overwhelming unhappiness I feel every single day.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:52 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • wow... Im sorry if I were u i would give him a little scare and leave him for a while, show him how it would be without u. And if he doesnt bother then i would say move on without him, because if he doesnt want to lose u he will go after u, and try to make it work. I hope everything works out for u.

    Answer by angelrach86 at 11:16 PM on Apr. 22, 2011

  • You shouldn't have to walk on egg shells because you don't know how he's going to react. If you are as unhappy as you say you are,there is no reason why you should stay in this relationship. It's not a healthy reason to stay in it. You do have a right to know where you stand. It's your decision to figure out what you want to do.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:34 AM on Apr. 23, 2011

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