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What should i do?

I have been with my husband for 5 years and married for 4 1/2..we have a 2 and 3 year old. He also has two other children with two other women...his family is involved with these other kids but not mine. His family doesnt like me at all..they say i trapped him into marriage...and that he wasnt raised to be with a person like me. Im half black and half white and he is very white... I could care less about what they think of me but it pisses me off that they dont want anything to do with my kids..His moter had the nerve to tell me last Christmas when i sent her a picture that "you cant even tell they are half breeds" He doesnt see anything wrong with the way they treat me. Ive talked to him about it and it always ends in a fight..the other kids are both with white women..and one of them was a woman he cheated on me with when i was pregnant. Im so upset and angry about this... Any advice?

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mom2girliegirls

Asked by mom2girliegirls at 1:39 AM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • hun you have pretty kids. i wouldnt worrie about his family he is the one who married you not the other ladies. Right??? you have the right to be upset but what is that going to prove...be tall and strong for your kids.
    mama2twins07

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 1:41 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • They sound like jerks. I'm sorry. Your daughters are beautiful though. Maybe it's better for them that they are not around these rude "people". To heck with them. They will regret it one day.
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 1:44 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Remind them that we are ALL part of the human race, and God will judge them the way they have judged you. Ignore the biggots. You dont need hatefull people like that in your life. No one does.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 1:48 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I agree, it sounds like your little ones are WAY better off without those people in their lives... They will grow up better for it.
    Iskkra

    Answer by Iskkra at 1:48 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I know it hurts and I don't blame you for being angry but if that is the what his family is like, are those the type of people you want around your children in the first place? If they have the attitude that you are "worse" than them because of your race then are they the kind of people you want your daughters to learn about life and values from? Your husband obviously loves you, mixed race or not, but his family is really not worth your time worrying about. I'm sorry for your girls, but I'm sure they get all of the love they need from you and I'm sure you are a MUCH better example then his family would ever be. As far as your husband goes...you can get angry at him but he can't change how other people behave and fighting with him, won't fix it, unfortunately. I wish you the best.
    Raegy

    Answer by Raegy at 1:53 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Girl, don't waste your time trying. It's very sad that your kids won't have a grandma on that side of the family, but don't even subject your kids to that kind of ignorance. Trust me, consider it a blessing that she is not that involved.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 1:55 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • "He doesnt see anything wrong with the way they treat me."

    THIS is what I find more alarming than anything. You are his WIFE...he CHOSE you. That means YOU should be more important to him. he can't help the family he was born into but he shouldn't let them kick you around if he values you and your marriage vows.

    No. Actually, I'm more alarmed b y the fact that he has kids by two other women. It tells me he doesn't value women too much.

    Ask him what he would do if any one of his children was treated that way.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:57 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • why are you bothered that this racist bigotry family dont want to know your kids ? would you want them to be associated with horriblepeople like that , you just get on with your little family and dont bother about what they think of you ,.you just bring up your kids in a happy home and at the end of the day its their loss ,and trust me they will feel foolish when they see what bright sparks you raise ,good luck .
    loulou332

    Answer by loulou332 at 1:57 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Consider it a blessing that they're not involved in your kids life. Her responses are sad, when a person looks at a child, or a person period, they should all know that the outside doesn't make the inside any better or worse. It's sad that your husband doesn't see anything wrong with the things she says too. I'm bothered by a whole lot in that post. He cheated and impregnated someone (pregnant to boot) and the MIL is okay with that.... Sounds like you've got a lot of hard roads ahead of you in this relationship but only advice I could give is to stay away from the Inlaws as much as possible to avoid hearing the trash that comes out of her mouth.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:01 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • thanks ladies
    mom2girliegirls

    Answer by mom2girliegirls at 2:41 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

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