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Why are some parents so insecure?

In their parenting skills that when they post a question and receive answers they do not want to hear, think that the comments are insulting their parenting skills?


Asked by older at 10:06 AM on Apr. 23, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 69 (2,285,492 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I think some are young and automatically get on the defensive if someone points out a new or better way to approach a problem. When I was younger I was the same way. I really just wanted someone to back up my choices and would ask questions looking for that of people I knew. I would get defensive too if someone said something opposite. My dd is 21 and she does it now. I tell her all the time woah I am on your side and just trying to help/

    Answer by gemgem at 10:34 AM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • The have questions, they would like answers to, it doesn't mean that the other parents posting needs to be snarky or nasty. There are no handbooks for parenting, you learn as you go, what is right for one family isn't right for another, there are no "right" ways to be a parent. It's a learn by trial and error lifestyle. So, when someone asks a question they want suggestions not attacked....that's all IMO though.

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 10:29 AM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • I think that's a by-product of the creation of "parenting" as a subject.

    Answer by SWasson at 10:11 AM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • I don't know why people get all ticked off when you answer with your own experience and advice about being a parent. Everytime I tell people how I raised my kids, what I fed them, its like its Open Season on ME!!! They put me down and tell me I was doing it all wrong when I had my kids. Do you think they ask the questions so they will have an opportunty to bash the posters' answers? LOL.
    I have stopped replyng to the Parenting questions. Its a waste of time.

    Answer by minnesotanice at 10:46 AM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • because they want to get advice and hear they might be heading in the right direction.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:11 AM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • not hear they could go about it a better way.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:13 AM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • Actually they do insult their parenting skills which is why they get their panties in a wad. It shows they received no training to be a parent which makes them ignorant of those skills. People don't like being shown their flaws, even flaws that can be fixed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 AM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • kitchen, they take suggestions sometimes as attacks, this is where their insecurities show.

    Comment by older (original poster) at 10:32 AM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • minnesotanice, wise choice!

    Comment by older (original poster) at 10:48 AM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • Well, when I caught your topic line, I wasn't thinking so much about here on CafeMom but of my SIL/BIL who are SO afraid of making a mistake, any mistake, for fear that it'll scar their kids for life. I don't know why it is they don't have any faith in their abilities - haven't been able to figure it out after all these years - but it is very obvious they have no "intincts" when it comes to parenting. They have to read it in a book to believe it or hear it from some expert on TV or the radio. Therefore, when discussing parenting with them, they are very quick to dismiss what anyone has to say and it would never occur to them that not one thing works for every child/parent. They are a mess, actually, as a result.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Apr. 23, 2011