Ok...I'm really trying to get a grasp on how birthmoms that gave there child up for adoption didn't know anything about the adoptive parents. Also how they didn't have a choice in whether to do adoption or not. I'm not trying to be a smartass, I'm very serious. I keep seeing all these arguments about how birthmoms didn't have a choice, the adoptive parents weren't known to them, etc. My thinking is that it IS a choice to have your child adopted, and I'm really trying to understand why some birthmoms are saying they didn't have a choice. And why some say they never met the adoptive parents....didn't you have a choice in the matter when the adoptive parents were picked? I just know someone is going to think I'm being smart with this question, but I'm really not. I would just like to have a better understanding from birthmoms on how these kinds of things happened.Answer Question
Answer by Anonymous at 3:26 AM on Dec. 3, 2008
Answer by madrigalreject at 3:28 AM on Dec. 3, 2008
First of all I don't think you are being smart and I think this is a perfectly reasonable question. In the old days of the baby scoop era (google) birth moms really had no choice who adopted their child. Check out this wonderful book. http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/
Answer by onethentwins at 3:46 AM on Dec. 3, 2008
Answer by onethentwins at 3:52 AM on Dec. 3, 2008
"Unlike many state-regulated adoption agencies, we are not confined by stringent state-mandated budget restrictions. This means we can advertise and market more aggressively to find the right child for you quicker."
Oh my! That's not a very good thing to read. That would be one I'd have to stay away from! I wouldn't want to be thinking that my baby's bio-family was taken in by that marketing scheme! Oh that's just horrible!!
Answer by LizClara at 3:58 AM on Dec. 3, 2008
another quote on aggressive child availability: "Aggressive grassroots marketing and outreach programs to reach other birthmothers who might not otherwise find us through more traditional forms of advertising and marketing. We market to: Maternity Homes Family Planning Clinics Crisis Pregnancy Clinics Hospitals and Medical Clinics Teen Pregnancy Programs Church Groups Chat Rooms Civic Organizations Abortion Clinics Bulletin Boards Pregnancy Hotlines Physicians Community Referrals Social Workers High Schools, Colleges and Universities"
Does any of the term such as "Aggressive grassroots marketing and outreach programs to reach other birthmothers" strike you as coercive I realise this is not your question.
Answer by onethentwins at 3:58 AM on Dec. 3, 2008
Answer by LizClara at 3:59 AM on Dec. 3, 2008
Actually I'm surprised that you are hearing much in the way of "I didn't know the aparents" . I'd expect more of "I was promised this and that and only received....nothing". that's quite common. Birth parents are not warned that open adoption agreements can be closed at the whim of the adoptive parents. But, worse than that, adoptive parents are never warned about how they will feel once their child becomes old enough to have feelings for their birth parents.
Answer by onethentwins at 4:06 AM on Dec. 3, 2008
Answer by LizClara at 4:07 AM on Dec. 3, 2008
Answer by adopteeme at 4:40 AM on Dec. 3, 2008