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is he lieing or not?

my hubby is in the navy at A school(im in cali he is in illinois) and he talks to a girl which is fine but he started to give his number out and txt's her he admits he flirts but he said that it isnt bad that she is married and is just a friend,also that him flirting is just part of who he is that he just does it and doesnt mean it in any way, WTF? how isn't flirting bad? i feel hurt by it i was mad at him and didnt talk to him all day and found out on his phone bill he talked to her all day txting,i am extramly jealous, he thinks he isnt doing a darn thing wrong and i found her number on the bill and told her to stop talking to him and at first i told him to stop himself and he didnt want to so i told him i would take care of it i feel like he doesnt take me serious that it hurts me that he will go to other women than to talk to me,......im sad what do i do

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:42 AM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • i dont know what to say but i know being a military wife/so..is hard...on both of you. yes he gets lonly and guys have half a brain so they tend to do say harmless flirting if he loves you he wont take it past that. the more you act like it hurts you the more likley he is going to do it..and her girls know when other girls are jealous they want to prounce more.
    mama2twins07

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 3:53 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • If his flirting is harmful to you and he loves you he should stop. No ifs, ands or butts. (yes i meant it the way i spelled it.) After all, if he told you that you talking with a certain person made him uncomfortable (for example a harmless chat with the cute grocery boy) you would stop, because you love him and what he needs matters to you more than that cute boy. Unless of course the cute boy mattered more and there would be a problem..... get it?
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 5:20 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I don't care what his vocation is. his behavior is unacceptable. if it was just innocent flirting then it wouldn't go on ALL DAY and it would stop when you said it was uncomfortable. Men who just "flirt by nature" tend to just try to charm every lady, but don't a have a specific girl that they hover over. It sounds like he is being dishonest with you and probably with himself too. You can't let him make you crazy, and you can't stop him from what he is doing. Just know that it is not you, it's him. He is the one who is wrong,you are lovely and wonderful and he is a jackass.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 5:42 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Beckcorc: You and I agree again. LOL
    Listen hon, I've been there done that with my hubby about 4 years ago with 3 different women. Only when some of his friends narked him out to me did he fess up even though in my gut I knew he was being unfaithful.
    It took *a lot* to get passed that and it sucks but I would wager he is being unfaithful.
    upintrees

    Answer by upintrees at 5:52 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • *past to edit my above post. Gee whiz. LOL
    upintrees

    Answer by upintrees at 5:54 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Flirting is just that, flirting. He's a grown man. You can't tell him what to do. And calling her was very immature and will make her fight harder. Grow up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I wouldn't have called her, it makes your marriage look weaker. As for him, if she's living in the same area he is and they're texting all day, I'd be worried since you're living in a different state. He may not mean anything by flirting with her, but he's wrong because anything that makes the other half of the couple unhappy isn't okay. Instead of texting her, if he's lonely he should be texting you, calling you etc. On the other hand, I don't snoop thru my husbands calls so I have no idea who he's talking to. I have looked when he was talking to a coworker about a problem on the job a lot, to see how often, how long they were talking (then I found out she's about 70 so I was feeling a bit stupid lol)
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:54 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Grown man or not he has a responsibility to HIS WIFE which should be main priority. If he's that lonely in Illinois why does he have to flirt w/another woman?- Why not just call his wife or text his wife?
    If you tell him that his flirting is bothering you and him talking to this other girl is really hurting you and he refuses to 1. he's a jackass and 2. theres more than likely something more than mere flirting, to me it seems like he cant let go of their "friendship" because its something a bit deeper than he says or wants to admit.
    Let him know that you deserve a man that wants you and only you and respects you and the commitment that you two made.
    _mommy2b08_

    Answer by _mommy2b08_ at 8:38 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • He's probably telling the truth about who he is. Unfortunately, you can't change him. He sees nothing wrong with what he is doing, even though he knows it is a problem for you. Marriage does not change who a person is. You can nag him about it, and he may even tell you what you want to hear. That does not mean he has stopped doing it. You will have to decide if this is how you want to live your life. The signs were probably there before you married him, but when we are in love, we tend to ignore the signs. I'm very sad for you.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:08 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • well, imo, cheating is cheating... but dating is an isolated relationship between a male and female. this is just that. a husband has no business having an isolated relationship with any woman other than his wife.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:42 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

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