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Should I attempt to be civil with my mil?? Story below of what happened.

My mil loves to play games and have drama in our family. my daughter who never leaves my side, has been watched twice, 1 by her & 1 by my sil. 2 weeks ago my 17 yo sil was supposed to watch her fo a few hours.My mil decided it wasnt fair that this was sil's 2nd time and she has only got to once (childish)! So she told my sil if she babysat then not to come home b/c she wont have a place to live!!! Shocked and pissed at the mentality of that,i said I dont want my child around someone like that. Now 2 weeks later and with the holidays,I feel bad that we arent talking to her even though it's her fault.I dont know if I should call her and tell her it was screwed up and try to be the bigger person through xmas or what?


Asked by asholan_07 at 4:01 AM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • She was prolly wondering why you would choose your SIL over her to watch the baby, but it's so childish and like the other said, it ended up costing her time with the child anyway. I'd say make up, but when you need a babysitter, call a friend instead of either one of them, or wait till your hubby is home to do what you need to do maybe. My MIL has never babysat my kids (my choice) and it works out because she's the type that would say that we're using her, taking advantage etc so I avoided all problems by telling her I appreciate that she's offering and if I'll keep the offer in mind.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:47 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • She is also telling everyone that " I am not talking to them" like we did something wrong and Im just so over the games and drama. Even her own kids say that its her loss and better for my daughter if she doesnt see her on the holidays of ever, I just feel strange not having contact and not even acknowledging my husbands parents

    Answer by asholan_07 at 4:03 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • MIL's SUCK sometimes!! Sometimes they are being really nice just to be really mean later on! LOL I know! But there comes a time where we have to be the bigger person, and unfortunatly the biggest times are the holidays. I would say suck it up for now and see how things go. But if your like me, I put my foot down and said "no more of your games. If you wanna see your grandchildren then its gonna happen drama free!" But you may wanna wait until after the holidays to do that! Besides, the holidays are the best time to make new memories! Good Luck!

    Answer by angieluv at 4:17 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Set solid boundaries and make her stick to them! I had to do this with my own mother! For example.... mom always trys to take something she is upset about that she cant express and turn it into something I did ten years ago.... ie "Well i am angry because you always do you have since you were a little girl!" NEW BOUNDARY SETTING ME " i am sorry you feel this way but that isnt what we are talking about right now" Thats just an example but write a list of the boundaries you want set and STICK TO THEM. Good luck!

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 5:16 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Let her know how silly this has been too. I mean isn't she originally mad because she wanted to see the baby? Now she isn't seeing the baby at all with our without you. It's not the best way to go about getting what she wants. Ask her what it is she really wants and see if there is a more SANE way of getting it!

    Answer by beckcorc at 5:37 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Let your husband handle this situation. Let him decide what he thinks is best, and then go along with whatever he says. I would not trust my child with her after that kind of behavior. I think it would be appropriate for her to be told that.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:03 AM on Dec. 3, 2008