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When is the latest at night you would call a preggo woman with a 4yr old?

I promise not to vent....I'm curious though...usually my MIL calls me at 8:30 damn near every night...to "see how we're doing" and to to talk to my 4 yr old daughter.. every time I have to tell her that Kelley can't talk to her because I'm trying to give her a bath, read her a story, wind her down for her bedtime...it's the same thing every time...and No...I'm not going to let her just talk to her anyways...she can call earlier in the day, I'm not going to re-arrange my schedule to fit her. But yeah, it's the same routine every night.

Last night we had a long day and I was freaking exhausted so we all went to bed early...when I got back up at 11:30 (that's what time DH has to go to his night job) I seen that I had missed a call from MIL...but it wasnt at 8:30 this time...it was at 9:30...I listened to her message, she wanted to "see how we were doing" and ask me if Kelley and I wanted to go to some rally for Headstart in the morning...but we had to be ready to go at 9 in the morning....

Okay...now some of you may not know this...but I don't care for MIL lol...not even a little bit..so there is every single possibility in the world that I am making a big deal out of nothing....but it seems to me that it is a little ridiculous first to call ANYBODY that late at night...I don't call people after 8 at night...I just think it's rude...but that's ME...but why would you call someone that late at night to ask them to do something at 9 in the morning???? I don't get it!

I slept past her little deadline...not that I was going to go anyways, but I havent called her yet...pretending I still havent checked my messages lol....Is this weird or am I over-reacting?

 
Lucky209

Asked by Lucky209 at 1:26 PM on Apr. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Level 28 (35,060 Credits)
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Answers (11)
  • Our house rule is no incoming calls after 9pm...that's DD's bedtime and I don't want the phone messing with our bedtime routine and/or waking her up. DH's parents always seemed to call around or shortly after 9pm and there was a period of time to where it was like every other night, so finally I had DH say something to them about it. He did and now, although they slip occasionally, don't call after 9pm.

    I'd just either have your DH talk to her or you talk to her. She may just not think that it's so late. From what I've found with my parents and DH's parents, once they hit retirement, their concept of time is very different from "normal" people.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 2:27 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I think your totally overreacting and you need to give MIL a break. She's calling everyday to check on you, she's inviting you and your dd to go places, she's obviously trying to have a good relationship with you and you need to give her a break. Have you said to her hey mil would you mind calling at 7pm to talk to dd because she's always getting ready for bed after 8.....have you given her a chance to be likeable? My MIL is my 2nd mom, it took us a long time to get there because we're very different women and we had a lot of conflicts, but it was worth the effort.
    lovinlifewith5

    Answer by lovinlifewith5 at 1:39 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • Hubby needs to tell his Mom that she needs to call at 6 or 7, before the nighttime routine starts. I think that because you are already annoyed with MIL, you are too harsh about her inviting you somewhere with late notice. It isn't rude, especially if just found the event. She may be aggrivating, but it sounds like she just wants to be involved.
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 1:35 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • Sorry, didn't get past 1st paragraph...cuz I was wondering, if she does this every night, then why do you continue to answer the phone? I think I'd just be letting the phone ring and have her talk to the answering machine :/

    8:30 at night isn't too late for *me*, but then again, I liked staying up late/sleeping in back before kids had to go to school. 8 is kids' bedtime, so if MIL wanted to speak with the kids, she needed to call earlier. Not my fault she can't remember that we are one hour ahead of her!
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 1:36 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • I don't call my friends before 9am or after 9pm. Seems like your MIL would have caught on by now...
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 1:36 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • between 9pm and 8am someone had better be dead, dying or VERY hurt if someone calls me.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 1:42 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • My rule is no phone calls after 9p and no calls before 9a unless it's family. My son in WA often calls me at 12-1a since he's 3 hours behind us and my son in TX also calls later since he's an hour behind us but I am up until 3-4a so late night calls from them don't bother me or wake me up. However, if I was calling to talk to my grandchild I would call by 7p at the latest since I would understand that they have a bed time. It sounds to me like your mil just wants to be a part of your lives. Be grateful. I lived next door to my mom for 2 1/2 years when my sons were young (moved to TX when they were 2 mos., 18 mos., 4 years and 5 1/2 years old & moved back to OH to be near my dad 7 1/2 years later) & then a few miles and then a block away and she never came over, never did anything with my sons and was always put out when we'd go to her house to visit. If she would have been more involved we would have stayed in TX.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • I don't call anyone after 9 pm, and I wouldn't be calling anyone at 8:30 expecting to talk to a 4 year old. My nearly 7 year old isn't even up at 8:30 - he goes to bed at 7:30. If you want to talk to him, call before then. Otherwise you're SOL.

    I do think though that you may be overreacting in regards to her talking to you. My own mil doesn't even call to check up on my kids, ever - and you'd think given the fact their father died 6 years ago she'd be even more determined to have a good relationship/bond with them both. Totally not the case, though. Any communication or updates rests on my shoulders.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 1:58 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • I think 8 pm is the latest. We usually had the kiddies in bed by 8pm.
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 2:38 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • No calls are answered in this house after nine pm and that includes phone calls to my high school senior son. Only exception is if it is an emergency.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 5:11 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

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