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3 Bumps

Anyone feeling as antisocial as i am?

So i live in a small community.. there are about 450 homes in my community.
I am so sick of everyone. I do lots of things for my community and I'm feeling unappreciated for them. People have parties, start up walking groups, Get togethers and I am NEVER invited.

I don't get it. I'm nice, warm, welcoming to everyone i meet and I just get left out. It makes me not want to socialize with anyone in my community.
I must smell or something... I have no real friends here either.. yup i go to the playgroup that is run in my community, but those moms aren't really friends.. they don't invite us over... it's more like a surface friendship.... only at certain community social events will they say hell you me or talk with me...

Anyone else feeling like this?
am I being a big baby?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Apr. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • no i do not feel that way
    littlekids

    Answer by littlekids at 5:39 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • I am like this with people. If you do not want me around you. I do not want you around me either. Shit goes both ways to me.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:40 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • I let it go either they appreciate it or too bad.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:43 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • i feel this way too i live on post and have numerous attempts to make friends and join groups and start groups and have bbq's and such but never get invited to theirs and it kinda hurts when i see them all hanging out in their yards with each other and not inviting me
    amberpaiz

    Answer by amberpaiz at 5:55 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • I'm sure the OP appreciates your helpful reply, littlekids.

    OP, I wish I could help you, but you basically just told the story of my life. As sad as it is, I have pretty much given up. I occasionally run into another mom who is a little offbeat and I kind of click with, but for the most part, I just do not fit into any social circle. If you're doing everything you can as far as being friendly, then maybe you just have a little something different about you that makes it harder for you to be "part of the crowd", in which case, the best thing is to probably come to a place of peace with who you are. And find the other misfits :-)
    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 6:17 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • You are SOOOOO not alone. I think it's really hard to make friends after college. I have a similar situation with a new mom's group I joined. The ladies have all known each other for several years so it's difficult for a newcomer. I find they hardly even acknowledge you, unless you make a point of doing so first. It's very annoying. I keep sticking with it, though, for my DS's sake. I know one of these days, I'll find someone that I really click with and the constant asserting myself will be worth it. So what if they don't invite you...call up someone that you thought seemed sort of nice and invite them to do something. You might find you don't like them after all, or, maybe you do, or maybe they were really feeling insecure and didn't know how YOU would respond. Just keep trying!
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 6:39 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • Yes.. I don't seems to fit into any of the social groups around here. what is worse is that most of the people who live in my community are either related to each other in some way OR have lived here all of their lives just like their parents and grandparents before them. So the family names are deep rooted into the communities history. We just moved here 3 years ago.... Although my husband's parents have lived in this community since my hubby was 6.. it doesn't seem to make a difference.
    I am a Girl Guide Leader, I do childminding for some community events, Up until I have my 3rd child 18 months ago i volunteered at the school. My hubby coaches Soccer and baseball for the community rec group. This summer we are in our communities farmers market as well. It's like... Yes they acknowledge you that you are alive and breathing but more than that is just too much for them!


    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:42 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • I want to keep trying... and for a while i found some moms to relate with... then after i had vented to them about something quite personal and relationship related, they started bad mouthing my husband and telling me that it would be better if i left him. When all i was doing was venting to them. Then i found out weeks later that my vent got around to a few people in the community when i thought it was safe to talk to these women!
    So now I'm like... well I don't want to try anymore! i haven't had a real honest to goodness, there for you, until the end friend since i showed up pregnant with my oldest at 17.
    It's just so FRUSTRATING!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:50 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • funny, right as i was reading this a lousy "friend" called and i forwarded it.
    last time she called she said it was an accident and meant to call someone else. FUCK people who pretend they care but they don't
    sucks you feel left out tho. im sure there must be at least one out there! all you need is one good friend in my opinion other than hubby.
    keep your hopes up and believe in yourself a little more!!! do not doubt anything you did was wrong or that you smell lol you know?
    if you are happy with you, then others are too, people just don't show it cuz a lot dont follow common courtesy anymore. people are selfish. say hi! wave! and dont take ANYTHING personally :)
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 8:06 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • Thanks guys!
    I try not to take things personally i just feel like... I'm being taken advantage of all the time. i do things for people and then get nothing in return (besides the pleasure of helping someone)

    I ampretty awesome and i think i show that through how i portray myself. I'm still looking for where i fit in though.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:47 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

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