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Have YOU or anyone you know given up a baby?

I've been reading things in the adoption section and it made me wonder... I think giving up a baby has to be the hardest thing in the world....

How do you/they feel about it now? Do you/they miss the baby? Do you/they regret it? Do you/they ever wonder how your life would be if you had kept the baby?


Asked by MarlyeGirl at 7:22 AM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Adoption

Level 2 (5 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (42)
  • Thank you for all who shared. And what a wonderful question. Thank you OP. We have been having some pretty heated and sometimes just nasy discussions. I am so full of joy (and also sadness) at hearing the honesty and knowing that many of you do not regret it, but that it is so difficult. Thank you to all birthmothers (firstmothers) who have made it possible for women like me to adopt our children. When I hear and read your stories, it makes me even more committed to talking and keeping an open relationship with my son's other mother. It really does inspire me to always keep that door open not only for my son but in support of another woman. And I also hope that others who know me are inspired to have open adoptions and not to be afraid to start that journey with an open heart, open mind, and open door. God bless all mothers, firstmoms and adoptive moms.

    Answer by frogdawg at 2:04 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Well, in a sense, I guess I "know" several people, although I was quite young. My brother and I are adopted, separately, from different parents. I also have at least four adopted cousins and have met one or two of their birth moms. From everything I have experienced and learned through adoption affecting my life and my family's lives, it was an extremely tough decision, but worth it.

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 7:35 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • i watched an adoption show on discovery heath yesterday and i cried watching it cause you could see the pain of that seventeen year old gir who gave her baby up.. it was the saddest thing i think i've ever watched before that was real.. OMG

    Answer by krazyash023 at 8:50 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Krazyash...Ive seen that one too and its the most heartbreaking one. She did the RIGHT thing, but you could see how hard it was for her. She knew she was doing what was best for her child and not what she wanted. What a heartwarming story of love. I have family that are adopted and I feel its the most selfLESS thing a person can do. ITs truly the love of God demonstrated in real life.

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:41 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I know people that have adopted babies.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I was 15 when I had my son and my boyfriend at the time was planning on joining the Marines. He didn't think about putting his plans on hold and then when I mentioned putting the baby up for adoption he said he would fight me for custody and have some friends of our take care of him while he was stationed away. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. i signed the final adoption papers on 9/11/2001, only hours after the towers fell. But two years later after I was out of high school and had someone great, I had a son. Not really, but my husband had a boy from his first marriage and his mother at that point hadn't seen him in months. My SS and my BS are two months apart in age. I am happy to answer any questions and I will come back here to check for some.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 10:46 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I have never done it myself even though SEVERAL people including my mom tried to get me to give up my baby (who will be 2 on friday). I just couldn't do it, even though I wasn't happy I was pregnant for the longest time (probably because I was so friggin sick!). The way I saw it, he was my responsibility and I was going to make it work no matter what. I've managed to make it two more years in school, work, and take care of him, so I am pretty happy with my decision. I know many people who had to give their children up because they couldn't handle it at the time or the baby was concieved in less than ideal circumstances.

    Answer by LexsMami at 10:47 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • cont. This one lady I know has given up at least 3 children that I know of and she kept 4 of them. She did open adoptions and keeps in touch with either the children themselves or their adoptive parents. I think adoption is wonderful and I hope to adopt children one day when I am financially stable. Its something I always planned on doing. I just wish adoption wasn't so expensive! There are a lot of great people out there who would make great parents, but they simply can't afford to adopt children. That is totally ridiculous!!

    Answer by LexsMami at 10:47 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I have decided that one of the only ways I can ever grow past it is to share my story with other people. I am not ashamed of what I did, and nearly everyone in my life knows about it, even my co workers and my SS.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 10:47 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I have never been involved in an adoption, but thought about it so many times. It would be the hardest thing in the world to do, IMO. I don't know that I could do it, but give so much credit to someone who isn't in a position to care for a child, and realizes this is a way to give the child a better life. And to give the opporotunity to someone who can't have a child, in many cases.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Dec. 3, 2008