Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Should I say anything?

When I was eleven, my cousin(8 years older) and I began a sexual relationship that continued for 6 years. This happened over 30 years ago. I just found out he's been teaching middle schoolers for 3 years. Does our history make him likely to be a predator now? Should I say something, anonymously of course?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Apr. 23, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (17)
  • How old were you guys ? Were you into it as much as he was or was he molesting you ? There's a difference between the willing and the unwilling. If he molested you, yes I would say something for sure. I dont' think anything will be done tho since you didn't press charges back then. It would be a warning to the school though. They might keep a close eye on him if they knew something like that.

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 9:21 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • No, I don't think that labeled him as a "Predator."

    Answer by anichols1 at 9:22 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • I edited my ? to show that he was 19 when it started. I went along with it because, as the victim of otjers as.a small child, that's what I knew to do, you know? I am worried about thw girls he is teaching.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:26 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • NO,, I think you should have done something about it back then (not that I am blaming you at ALL) What is his status now,, Married, been in trouble for anything? You have to weigh out all factors in this,, from the brief info you give it is hard to make a judgement call, Did you feel pressured into sex? Did he end it, did you end it,, it is a bad situation anyway you want to cut it, but 30 years is a long time, and I am not sure if it would do anything (statute of limitations) I am kind of thrown off because you don't say he MOLESTED you, but if that was the case then contact a lawyer and find out what you need to do... so sorry.

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:29 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • Not at all. Getting into sex when young is not at all unusual and does not make someone a predator. You would be very unwise, in my opinion to take this further as you have no evidence he is being a naughty boy now .

    Answer by janet116 at 9:41 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • Your confusing me????? Sexual relation at 8 and 11 yeas old?

    Answer by louise2 at 9:43 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • If you "went along with it" to him back then, is the same as being into it I supose, even tho he should have know better. Does having sex when your 19 make anyone a predetor? NOOO. I would just leave it be.

    Answer by minimo77 at 9:44 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • Have you ever talked to him about it?

    Answer by mrsvixen at 9:48 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • Louise - I was 11, he was 8 years older than I, so he was 19. I do think a 19yo having sex with an 11yo IS predator behavior, though I didn't at the time.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:52 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

  • Janet, you don't think that a 19yo who has sex with an 11yo is showing a propensity for young girls?

    BTW, I never discussed this with him, bit I'm sure he knows why I was adamant about my dayghter not spending the night with her cousins over there.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:21 PM on Apr. 23, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.