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2 Bumps

Do you think when mothers have children by multiple men they are setting a bad example for their kids ?

sunglasses minidoes not necessarily mean they are a bad mom but are they being a bad example for their kiddos ? i personally think it looks trashy, does not matter if they are a good mom or not it is still trashy looking. after 2 different baby daddies...tsk,tsk it honestly looks bad. 

 
gwen20

Asked by gwen20 at 2:29 AM on Apr. 24, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 35 (71,622 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (26)
  • I think its really none of my business. Everyones circumstances are different. Now if their sleeping around with any guy yeah thats a bad example. But just because a woman has children with multiple men doesn't mean she is sleeping around. Perhaps she is divorced, widowed and remarried. Who knows and I don't really care as long as she's a good mother.
    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 2:30 AM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • No. I do however think it is wrong for people to judge women without knowing the full story on why some women have children by more than one guy.
    Being a whore is one thing, having a child with the guy you love, marry, and plan on staying with but it doesn't work after several years and finally finding that right guy and having a kid with him is another thing entirely.
    firepony

    Answer by firepony at 2:40 AM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • So a great mom who has kids by a couple different men should be judged as a worse person than the mom who closes her eyes to her kids being abused by their one father? A good mom is a good mom, doesn't matter who her kids fathers are. And having all your kids by one man doesn't make someone a good mom. None of us know the circumstances under which a woman has children by multiple men - and unless you're asking or engaging in gossip ('cause that's not trashy) how do you know she has kids by different men?
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 2:42 AM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I think what the question is really refering to are the girls who go and get pregnant by some guy, they break up, she gets with some other guy who says he doesn't care she has a kid, etc, she gets preggo by him, he leaves, and then she does it all over again. Unfortunately, it happens a lot. Why do you think shows like Maury and Jerry springer are so popular? On one hand, she's not being responsible and that DOES set a bad example, especially if you can't really afford to have a bunch of kids. It doesn't make her a bad mom however.
    ConnorMom228

    Answer by ConnorMom228 at 3:11 AM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • No I don't think it sets a bad example, I have 3 kids 2 by my first husband and the 3rd by a guy who raped me that doesn't make moe a whole that makes me a victim. No my son has no clue and never will. My husband is adopting him and that his the only Father he will ever know.
    sweetangie79

    Answer by sweetangie79 at 3:04 AM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • You thinking it looks trashy does not mean they are setting a bad example for their kids. If anything it could be argued that by accepting the consequences of their actions by not having an abortion they are setting a good example. Though of course to avoid your judgement of their actions being trashy they could have the abortion, though that leaves them open to judgement by a whole new group of judgemental people. Or maybe they could live their lives as they see fit, being a good parent to their child regardless of who the fathers are or how many they are.

    Oh and I fully expect my answer to be voted down since I'm not agreeing with your 'trashy' assessment.
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 3:04 AM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I can see your point because I read the question and while it's none of my business, I'd have to say more than two dads does not look good. I can completely understand having children with a man you think you'll be with forever then for whatever reason it does not work out and trying again with someone else who you are better suited to be with. But yes, when a mother has three or four or more fathers for her children, it can look bad.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:08 AM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I think that it might not set the best example, but it depends on what the mom does with it when she passes the info to her children. I could be that I made some bad choices that got me into this situation, and this is why and this is why I am telling you. But there are other things that a mother with kids by one man that could do is also a bad example. I try not to use the word "trashy" when describing a person b/c I don't know what happened that got them into that situation and I think how would I feel if that was me.
    I always think that if it was not for th "grace of God" I could be in any undesirable situation based on some of the not wise choices that I have made.
    Bubbie0809

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 6:12 AM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • First I think it is none of my business although I must be trashy than because my oldest has a different father from my other 2 children. It really isn't your business as to why this is. Sometimes people get remarried and have children with both husbands. Sometimes people make mistakes when they are young, have their child, and then find someone to spend their lives with and have more children. Or maybe they don't think they can get pregnant and it is an accident. For me I think it is a very closeminded to think that just because a woman had children by 2 different fathers that she is trashy.
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 6:26 AM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • How is it no one is getting that the OP is not talking about a woman having two fathers for her children? She plainly says that not once but twice and yet everyone who has children by two men, which is obviously not uncommon, is getting so offended. I think just about everyone can see having children by two men but after that is when it becomes a question as to whether much thought is going into the process.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 AM on Apr. 24, 2011

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