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Ungrateful Daughter?

I have an 19 year old dd and shes been very unstable with her loser bf (he doesnt work half the time, we know he smokes pot, and they move alot). This last time they lost theire place I paid for them to move in. I paid the deposit & knew the owner so they got a good deal. She owes me $185 from when she moved in and shes moving AGAIN. Instead of paying me back (and my dh her step dad lost her job so she knows we need it back) shes refusing to pay what she owes. She says she will give me $50. I know in a few months theyll be back with their hand out & I help bc she has a baby.

Am I overreacting or is she in the wrong? She tells me Im the one who will have bad karma for making her pay me back. And yes she has the money they got a tax advance ($700) this week. And she knows Id never ask for the money unless I needed it. I need it for christmas for her brothers.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • She's taking advantage of you since you let her. I had to learn the hard way that my financial help wasn't appreciated by one of my children and his family. Their choices of what they did with my money weren't wise (one child still needs her tonsils out but they have the Wii system and tons of games.) I just pulled the plug...don't give another cent (and my hubby lost his job and took 8 months to find another one so it was easy to do) and they somehow find a way without my financial help. True, i don't see them as often as I used to...but at least now I know that I see them because they want to see me...not because they are sucking up to get $$$ from me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I think some people, especially in a parent/child relationship, have a sense of entitlement when it comes to money and help. I have a cousin that has been helped all of her life, every time she hit a rough patch someone was there to bail her out. And if she feels someone should be doing more she complains and says no one ever helps her. Some people just feel like they're owed things, perhaps your daughter is one of them. I think she's the one who better be careful about the bad Karma.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:22 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Tell her bad karma is her not paying it back. You shouldn't feel guilty, it's time for her to grow up and be an adult.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 9:39 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Sounds to me like you let her manipulate you...bad karma? wtf? Who does she think she is...cut her off and then see if she is so smart with her mouth!

    Answer by salexander at 11:27 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I wouldn't be asking for it back. I would tell her - consider it your and your child's Christmas gift. But, I would also never give her another penny.

    Answer by richgirljj at 12:06 PM on Dec. 3, 2008