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what would you do if your 14 yr old stole from you?

My 14 yr old son has a bad habit of takeing and sneaking pop, money, ect... when he knows he's not aloud to have it. We let the kids have pop but only if they ask and only once in awhile. So I'm not sure if this is something to worry about or normal? My husband doesnt like this and get's frustrated because my son will lie about it even though he get's caught doing it. then later will admit it. so just wondered if anyone has any advice or maybe have had the same issues if so like to hear what you did or ideas??? thanks

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:34 AM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • I would ground them for stealing money, but it's kinda sad that a 14 is stealing soda. It's not like they are 5. Just my opinion, but I have never seen a 14 year old that isnt allowed to drink soda whenever they want. I can see not drinking it all the time but...
    asholan_07

    Answer by asholan_07 at 9:38 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I think maybe he needs some more freedom with the pop thing, but with the money think punish suitably, etc grounding, taking away priveleges.
    haleykarson

    Answer by haleykarson at 9:41 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • i agree 14 is kinda sad they can't have a pop whenever.. UNLESS he is overweigh/obese then thats understandable..
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 11:21 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I have the same problem, mine will hunt it out & eat or drink it all and then leave the cans or wrappers laying around, almost like saying what ya gonna do? I get so ticked because he doesnt leave even 1 for anyone else. I just stopped buying any soda, cupcakes etc. He has also taken money (2 times) I felt so violated - because I have always tried to give him everything & thats where I think I screwed up because he thinks hes entitled to everything that is mine- (gum out of my purse- really gets to me) It seems so small when you are writing it down but to live it SUCKS. I think all kids are unruly now & it seems to be getting worse just in the last couple weeks. Are you noticing it or is it just mine acting up?
    argcwg

    Answer by argcwg at 12:41 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • POP MEANING SODA?? REALLY JUST LET IT GO, THERE ARE WORST THINGS HE COULD BE SNEAKING AND DOING. PICK YOUR BATTLES WISELY.
    LET HIM KNOW YOU DO NOT AGREE BUT YOU ARE LETTING HIM NOW SO HE WILL APPRECIATE IT.
    BUT STOP THE MONEY STEALING IMMEDIATELY. DEFINITELY RESTRICT WHERE HE IS GOING AND TAKE AWAY HIS CELL AND COMPUTER AND SUCH. WATCH YOUR MONEY NOW, YOU CANT TRUST HIM IM SORRY.
    sassy_brizzy

    Answer by sassy_brizzy at 1:39 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • i thought it was odd that my friends had to ask to have pops from their parent but then i realized that in our house we never had it so when it was there we were allowed to have it. i would suggest not having the pop in your house at all. why? we don't in ours and therefore don't have this problem. also as for stealing money. maybe you could stop carrying cash. that would show him. i would ground him from everything under the sun that he likes, no friends, no tv, no games and no cell phones and i would give them extra chores around the house. for about one week and if he fails to do it for one week i would give him another wk until he understood that getting in trouble means you have to obey and if you don't it gets harder. my son is the worst and takes about 3 wks to learn but i think he finally got the message. he has been doing better.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 2:47 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Yikes! A little reminder of what I was like in some ways as a teen. Well, a couple of thoughts. It is unacceptable and there does need to be some consequences. I like unique punnishments that fit the crime. But that is just me. So if my son took my money I might go into his room and take something of his - as a parent not as payback. Seeing that he took money I need collateral until he can return the money to me. And not by taking someone elses's money. So money that family gives would first go to pay off me. Like taxes from the IRS. Only Income Parent Services. It comes in and directly to my pocket. Not being mean but in the real world that does happen. Also as far as the drinks...he may be at an age where he can monitor his own intake. If this were my child
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 3:23 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • cont..I would say, okay, here is your pop allowance. Once it is gone no more until next month. You drink it up quickly then that is your business. But if you take any of mine or others' in this house than it will be deducted from your next pop allowance. Personally if it was a snack/food issue in general (as it was for me at this age - I snuck it all the time and lied about it - dude they KNEW it was me) I would also do a snack allownce. Do one for the week or for the month. Let him control it and learn how to manage those things. Also snack include you either budget some for your lunch or you don't. Not my fault if you do poor planning. Just a thought on how I would do it. Comming from a recovering teen eating lying theif. P.S. Now a professional responsible adult and mom. Some of us do grow out of it unless our parents kill us first.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 3:26 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Everytime you catch him stealing from you take something of his. First sit down and explain to him that this is what's going to happen, this will be the consequence for stealing. Take things that he really values and tell him that if he behaves for a week, month, ect. he can earn his item back. I say to do this because it will make him understand what it feels like to have someone take something that belongs to you. He's stealing from you because he doesn't understand it's wrong and doesn't think it's a big deal. Make him understand how it feels.
    MrsHart6

    Answer by MrsHart6 at 2:50 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Take action because it only gets worse. I was a bad apple as a teenager, especially in high school. I had no respect for my parents, and I stole money from my mom all the time. She has a lot of money so it didn't even phase me but I feel guilty about it now and always tell her I'm sorry for what I put her through. She'd go to get money from her purse for something and it wouldn't be there because I used it to go buy alcohol or something. It started off slow, I would do it every now and then and then it gradually just got worse.

    I don't know what would've worked on me. My mom was such a pushover, she loved me so much and everytime she caught me or confronted me I'd cry and then she'd just tell me it was okay. You need to find an effective way to stop your son.
    ivaJoy

    Answer by ivaJoy at 7:08 PM on Dec. 4, 2008

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