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7 Bumps

Would you find this rude, and would you confront her?

My mom is constantly on the phone when I go to visit her, and she will sit there and talk the whole time I'm there and not consider that I am a guest and I am visiting her. I find it to be rude, and I have noticed she does not do this to anyone else, not even my sister. If I called and my sister and her family were visiting my mom, she would tell me she had company right now and to call her back later. This has been going on forever, but I haven't said anything, but I'm ready to because I'm getting fed up with it. It's like she lives in "phone world" more than she does the real world. I remember even as a teen being annoyed because she would take/make calls right at the dinner table while we were all eating just to chat, but now I can't even stand to visit her anymore. One time I was literally in the middle of telling her something and as I was speaking she picked up the phone and started dialing my sister just to talk! Is that not rude, or what? I was kind of venting here, but would you say something her if you were in this situation, and would you feel disrespected?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Apr. 24, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • Um, yeah...I wouldn't go over there any more. Why waste your time just to be ignored. If she wants to see your childen she can come by YOUR home. When she asks why you don't come by, tell her...."we don't spend time together, your always on the phone."

    WOW!!!
    ItsJustMe1017

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 11:33 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • I would pick up my stuff and get ready to leave I would also say if you are too busy you call me and let me know a time you will not be or have her come to your house and maybe do the same thing while she is there either way talk it out with her.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:22 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I believe this falls under the "basic manners" catagory. I've been in this situation before with a good friend and I was honest with her. If she wants to visit with me, the she needs to be "with" me in the conversation, what-have-you. She might not realize that she does this to the extent, so be prepared to support your claim with details, (occurances) and do it right then. Don't wait.
    Cristi1004

    Answer by Cristi1004 at 1:42 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  •  


     tsk tsk She is showing who her favorite is i would call her on it and leave , or not visit, she knows where you are correct? just let her know, you have tried over the years, and you love her no matter what.. BUT YOU GIVE UP. when you just want to have a mother daughter visit.get together, chat.you cant for you feel pushed away.


     


     


    We are not mom. but find us, we will chat/visit with you. typing

    AMMA554

    Answer by AMMA554 at 1:42 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • My mom does this, but it doesn't bother me. We see her a lot more often than my brothers do. We're over at her house at least 2-3x a week and only live 1/2 mile away. My brothers on the other hand don't see her nearly as often because they live 1 hour+ away.

    How does the time spent at your mom's compare to the time she spends with your sister there?
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 1:25 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • My sister was the worst at this. It is definitely rude! Finally I told her that it as rude and I was t\he guest and she had to either hang up or I was going to leave. I got backup from my mom and younger sister too, so that helped for me.

    I would tell her that you find it rude and see what she does. If she ignores your request, then the next time she does it, do what pinkdragon said, just pack up your stuff and leave. If you do it enough times, she will get the hint.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:27 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • Do you live in the same town? If it was me, I would wait until it was obvious she was getting into a long conversation (as opposed to telling the caller "I'll get back to you") and then I'd mouth "I'll see you later" and I'd be out the door. I like what pinkdragon said - ask your Mom to call and let you know when she has time to visit, although based on your description, she'd probably ask you to come over and still accept phone calls. So to summarize, I think it is rude, I wouldn't confront, I'd speak with my actions: head for the door.
    Whimsee

    Answer by Whimsee at 1:31 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • That is so rude!! & she only does it to you? I would feel like she didnt really care for me. I would tell her & if she still did it just get your things & walk out!!
    ZeenaS.Muh

    Answer by ZeenaS.Muh at 1:32 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • Mother did this very same thing but she did it to all of us. Depending on MMOTD I would wait out the call or tell her I'd be back later. I do think it was rude but that was just the way she was. I loved my mother and miss her every day.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 1:33 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I most definitely would get up, pull out a pen and pad (from where ever she keeps it) and write:
    " Dismissing me by making or taking long phone calls when I'm here to visit with you hurts me. I would never do that to anyone else because YOU taught me to never be that rude to anyone. When you understand how damaging your rude behavior is to OUR relationship, CALL ME."

    Then I'd lay it on the counter and walk out, no goodbye, nothing. And I wouldn't talk to her for at least 48 hours - and I certainly wouldn't be the one going back over to her house - she'd come to me to make it right.

    Adults are adults and should act accordingly.
    ShelbyShareAlot

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 1:46 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

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