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Rewards for bad behavior?

Right now I'm living with my parents (mother mainly). They are spoiling the crap outta my son. They are giving him rewards like toys & stuff for his behavior when he doesn't deserve it at all. Whenever he whines or throws a tantrum, he gets what he wants! I''m so freakin' annoyed by this. I can't move out until this whole court battle is over with. (its a long story) basically all I can say is moving out isn't an option right now at all. I've exhausted every option possible. I'm trying to teach him that he can't whine to get what he wants. He can't throw a fit bc he didn't get what he wants than get it ! ya know ? He acts up SO much whenever my parents are around. Yesterday my parents left & he behaved SO well. As soon as they walked in the door, he was whiny & throwing fits over stupid crap. Guess what ? He got whatever he wanted ! The worst part is my MOM knows he does this! She has asked me more than once if he was acting like that before she got home. I said nope he was a completely diff kid. "Oh ok" that's it & goes on her merry way. She has told me she is scared that if we are "too" strict he will want to live with his dad. If she continues doing this while I'm living here.. he's going to catch on that and use it aganist me! She's only hurting him. How do I handle this ?

I mean don't get me wrong he isn't a bad kid at all. He listens very well, just he knows how to get away with things with my parents. That's it. Its normal for a kid to use that kinda stuff aganist you, thats why you are suppose to show them different. ya know ?

How do I fix this w.o making my living situation full of more tension ?


Asked by loudnproud87 at 2:05 PM on Apr. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,730 Credits)
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Answers (5)
  • Your son is playing your mom,big time! Tell her,"Look,mom,I appreciate u letting me live here but,as far as his behavior goes,stop rewarding him!" "What I say goes,I am the mom!" "Please stop rewarding him,u r making it really hard for me".

    Answer by dancer at 2:09 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • As young as he is,it is not his decision on who he lives with. Don't worry about that.

    Answer by dancer at 2:10 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • As far as dealing with his behavior goes u need to back each other up. She needs to back u up,u r his mom!

    Answer by dancer at 2:12 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • Thanks, Hun. i appreciate the feed back. She's meaning like when he can make the decision he will want to live with his dad. She asked me what was wrong & in away I blamed everything on my grandma to her, but address some of the things she does. We will see what happens now. lol Maybe she caught on ? I know if I say it directly to her, my life will be a living hell. I gotta here outta here, but like I said I just can't right now.

    Comment by loudnproud87 (original poster) at 2:14 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I know exactly how you feel. MIL used to give DD juice whenever she would throw a fit. drove me NUTS because I was trying to break her of drinking at night and she would give her straight juice to get her to go back to sleep! 6 months later DD had bottle rott and needed 4 teeth removed and 4 caps.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

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