Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

So, what's the time limit on getting over a house fire? (kind of a vent)

Last night I was told by someone that I need to "suck it up and get over it" in regards to our house fire 3 mos. ago (today it's been 3 mos.). As if it's really that simple. I am thankful that that I survived the fire because if my husband hadn't come home I probably wouldn't be here (the fire went up the chimney and the worst room in the house was our bedroom). I am very thankful that he forgot his ear piece & turned around a block and a half from the house and came home. He was gone for MAYBE 3 min. and in that time our house went from being fine to being filled with gas. He tried the stove thinking that maybe he'd bumped it as he'd left and when it didn't light he realized there was a problem and yelled for me to get downstairs NOW (I was sleeping since it was 7a). As we were going down our driveway he noticed fire in our basement and screamed for me to get our neighbors out of their homes while he called 911. Sounds like a basic house fire and I guess one should just "snap out of it" 3 mos. later but it was more than a simple house fire. 23 buildings in our village caught fire starting at 6:30a. 9 of those were houses, 1 of those was a 4 unit apartment complex. There was a gas issue (pounds of gas put through the lines instead of ounces) and it caused furnaces to explode and catch fire. It made national news: here's a link to the story http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2011/02/a_small_town_a_gas_surge_and_c.html  & http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/news/local_news/fairport-harbor-911-calls-depict-frantic-scene-of-gas-fires-explosion  takes you to the 911 calls and my husband was the 6th caller. It was a traumatic day for all of us in the village. 

I KNOW that we are the fortunate ones....we have great insurance and are actually over insured, everything will be replaced. Some (the renters) had NO insurance (though the gas company has worked with them) and some home owners were under insured. I KNOW that we are fortunate that while we lost 97% of our belongings 75% of our treasures were salvaged (because of where they were located). Some people lost EVERYTHING...the people in the apartment complex had nothing after the fire was put out as it was reduced to rubble. I know we are fortunate that no human lives were lost (we lost a dog and another family lost a cat). I know all this.

We're in a rental house until hours is rebuilt but we miss our home, the little blue house I lived in for 10 1/2 years and raised my 4 sons in. We miss our neighbors, our friends and just where we lived. We are in a rental house 20 min. from where we lived, we know no one, we aren't within walking distance of anything (in the village where our house is we had the beach, the library, 2 stores, a park and the post office within 2-6 blocks). There's nothing personal of ours here because we don't have anything personal (what was salvaged is still in a warehouse being cleaned). It's not our home, it's a temporary place to stay. We have 4 dogs who we know were traumatized by the fire & the move (by their actions), they don't understand what happened & we miss our dog who died as a result of smoke damage to his lungs (he was the only one we couldn't get out of the house because he was the only one not in a crate). We know that we are fortunate that we only lost 1 of our dogs and we are thankful that the 1 who bolted when she got out of the house was found (she even made the news: http://www.woio.com/global/video/flash/popupplayer.asp?ClipID1=5510412&h1=Dog+reunited+with+family&vt1=v&at1=News&d1=92167&LaunchPageAdTag=Search

 ) .

We miss the little things you don't even realize are gone until you go looking for them and it's hard when you remember the special things that are gone...my husband's dad's Torah that was passed down through the family, photo albums, gifts from our sons when they were little (the things of theirs that they gave us before they could buy things and the special things they bought when they earned their own money), artwork by them, their 1st lost teeth, baby books, etc.. There are some things that are "just stuff" (appliances, furniture and clothes) and then there are other things that are memories in a box....the memories that you are brought back by objects.

 It hurt to have someone tell me to suck it up and deal with it. I am sorry that the smell of wood burning fires bother my husband and I or that seeing fires in movies brings tears to my eyes. I am dealing better 3 mos. after than I was a month after and I am sure that in 3 more mos. things will be even better. But it takes TIME. Most people understand, I just wish everyone did!

Answer Question
 
tracylynnr31767

Asked by tracylynnr31767 at 2:43 PM on Apr. 24, 2011 in Just for Fun

Level 8 (230 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • Well I didn't read your whole post but to answer the question...for me I would say never..
    Brandi300

    Answer by Brandi300 at 2:45 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • It's way longer than three months.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 2:46 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • You may never fully get over the loss. BUT perhaps you are talking about it more than that person (rude person) can handle. If you find that you need to talk about it all the time maybe finding a professional to help you might be the key.


    There is no set time to "get over" things... as long as you are not stagnate. You must still move forward and function in life.  And if you are still living life than what you feel is what you feel... it is how you act that is important. 

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • we had a house fire in our house too and it takes along time to get over it's not that easy to get over
    mamawilbur

    Answer by mamawilbur at 2:56 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • We live life like normal, the day to day hasn't changed. I do my housework like normal, we cook supper together (it's just hubby and I at home), we sit down and watch TV at night, etc. just like before but there are some changes. We lived in our house for 10 1/2 years and for the last 3 mos. we have been displaced. Now that the weather is warming up we have bbq's on Sundays and fire up the grill on week nights. In our house, with our neighbors, a fired up grill meant a friend wandering over to say hi, a couple beers shared and a fun time. Here...we go outside, fire up the grill and eat. no wandering neighbors. We miss that. It makes us home sick. This is a nice house but there's nothing of ours here to make it personal, we feel like visitors. It probably wouldn't have hurt me so much if the person who told me to suck it up weren't my 24yo son. My other sons understand 100%.
    tracylynnr31767

    Comment by tracylynnr31767 (original poster) at 3:04 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • When I was 3, our house burnt down...straight to the ground. Nothing left and nothing salvageable. We got out okay, but only with the clothes on our backs...which were PJ's. I'm 38 now and my mom still has issues due to it.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 3:07 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • Well see.. you ARE living day to day... so they were wrong.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I know that most people understand, but I am sure my son isn't the only one who thinks it. We do talk about a lot of things related to the fire...about the work being done on our house, about missing where our house is because it's where our friends are. I met our neighbors here but it's hard to get all chummy when you know that as long as everything goes as planned you only have 4 mos. left here and you don't really ever come to this city so making friends is kind of pointless. I talk about when we get back in to our own house and I can buy towels, dishes and cookware because right now everything is rented from a company that provides the basics to people involved in fires and floods. Our towels, dishes, furniture, TVs, DVD player, vacuum cleaner, bathroom rugs, soap dishes and trash cans, the broom and dust pan, etc. is all rented...nothing is OURS. It's hard. I won't say it isn't. And sometimes I vent about it.
    tracylynnr31767

    Comment by tracylynnr31767 (original poster) at 3:31 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • Thank you everyone...it's nice to know that others understand.
    tracylynnr31767

    Comment by tracylynnr31767 (original poster) at 3:32 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I just responded to your journal post on this!!!
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 3:52 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN