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2 Bumps

It's daughter was sexually abused. adult content

I posted a question about my husband and I having suspicions of my MIL touching my DD. There were a lot of signs that pointed to it. Her behavior changed drastically, she started pooping and peeing her pants, and the biggest...she decided she did not want to go to her grandmas anymore.

Well, my daughter came out and said "Grandma likes to itch my private parts while im dreaming and then wash her hands." When she said this, I did not ask anymore questions, but we did call a hotline and they will make a report to CPS. She also said that it has happened lots of times.

I KNOW something happened, but for some reason I am feeling guilty about accusing my MIL. I KNOW KNOW KNOW that she did something, I KNOW my daughter would NOT just say that out of the blue, so why do I feel guilty?

The social worker told us to not have any contact with MIL until CPS interviews her but she has emailed me a couple times asking if everything is ok. I don't know how to respond. I know what I want to say, but I can't. I am so confused and hurt. I just don't even know what to do. I know I need to be strong for my family but it is so hard right now.

I guess my question is, what would YOU do if your DD said that someone liked to itch her private parts?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Apr. 24, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (24)
  • I would do exactly what you have done down to the slight guilt. You want to think your children are safe with their grandparents and it make you feel bad to think you can't. CPS is going to help you but you need to share with them what you need. Even if what you need right now is someone to talk to. Maybe they can point you in the right direction. This needs to be taken care of and you do need to be strong but you don;t have to do it alone. :0) best of luck. I truly hope this all works out for you. Please keep us updated. I have been thinking of you since you last posted... Is DH doing okay? I know he has been having a rough time as well, this can't be helping...

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:42 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I'd kill someone.

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 5:44 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I would report them like you did. God Bless you and your family and your daughter

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:45 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I'm not so politically correct when it comes to people abusing children. I'm afraid grandma would find I'm not so understanding about her desire to touch my child. She can scratch her own itches but she better never touch my child. I have no doubt that I'd be in jail if it were my child but I'm glad to see you are more sensible and did the right thing. Never feel guilty about protecting your child.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:46 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I read your last post about this and I am so sorry.

    Honestly, I would go crazy with rage. Knowing myself and my anger I don't think I would even call anyone I would confront my MIL and just beat her. I know it's not the best choice but knowing the history that you said before with your husband and what the child has said I wouldn't be left with any other choice. If ANYONE touches or abuses my kids I will defend them tooth and nail.

    I hope CPS does something and your MIL goes to prison where she belongs!!!!

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 5:47 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I remember your post, too. I'm so sorry! I wouldn't answer MILs e-mails at all. She'll find out soon enough, and it's time she payed, not just for what she's done to your daughter, but for what she did to your DH. Oh mama, I'm so sorry for what has happened! Hang in there!

    Answer by Adelicious at 5:48 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • Oh, darling. I'm a good ear to vent to, and not judge. if you need someone, I'm here for you!

    I hope that monster-in-law gets exactly what she deserves. And prison ain't so nice to child molesters, if you kwim. They'll gobble her up, and don't think you need vengeance. Let the other prisoners bring her to your justice. Tell that baby girl she is precious, she is beautiful, and she has lots of people cheering and praying for her.

    Answer by matobe at 5:56 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I'm enraged for you, your hubs, and your daughter. If it's true, and like you said your daughter wouldn't make it up, I do not know if I could keep from confronting my mil. I don't think I could control my rage.. Hopefully you all will get everything you need to recover and eventually heal from this.

    Answer by meooma at 6:14 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I used to work at child services... They have 30 days to complete an investigation or else they have no choice but to close the case. They will probably investigate her & do a home visit, as well as interview your child, family & visit your home. Don't worry about the guilt, cuz you'll feel more than that if you allowed your child to go there with your suspicions & your child's accusation, & then have something worse happen. If MIL is innocent, she may be hurt by the gesture but she should understand that you're just taking care of her granddaughter -- which is something she should want too. The next step for your child once a determination is made, will be behavioral/MH services that should also involve your family. If MIL is guilty, Child services will take her to court & get her help; it won't be your call, so no one can lay a guilt trip on u for that one. Your child comes first!

    Answer by domesticrecluse at 6:28 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • What happend at the urgent care you said you were taking her too? And Im confused as to why you feal so guilty over accusing your mil of what your little girl just told you. I would take my kids word any day over any one else, thats me though. In order to get to the bottom of this you need to take her to a doctor but keep in mind even though the doctor says nothing internal shows up that doesnt mean the mil hasnt been fondling her on the ouside as sick as this all sounds. This whole story shocks me so I can only imagine what you are thinking as a mother. I dont mean to come off harsh but Im a no non sense type of person and dont like beating around the bush, I tell it how it is.

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 6:29 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

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