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all alone?!? Advice please

So i don't even know where to begin. I have a boyfriend who is the father of my unborn child. He lives with his parents he is 21 years old. I am 23 and have been divorced and have a son with my ex husband. my boyfriend and I talked about him moving in with me after the first of the year which i will be in my second trimester but now i found out that he doesn't really want to move in with me. I feel so alone. I mean i don't know how to do this alone and i don't want to . I am terrified something might happen and I will be alone and have to take care of my son at the same time. I dont' want to have to call him when i need something i want him to be there for me. I didn't crawl on my self and do this. I need advice.

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Asked by Ashley.herzing at 9:59 AM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Pregnancy

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Answers (8)
  • I wouldnt waste your time on him if he doesnt want to be there for you. Do you have a friend that could stay with you for a while when the baby is born?

    Answer by asholan_07 at 10:00 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Obviously you do want to waste your time on him though otherwise you wouldn't be on here asking for advice. Tell him what you told us. You need help. You didn't make this baby alone. You need help. I'm guessing he doesn't have any kids? He must not know what its like to be a parent. He hasn't grown up yet. He still lives with mommy who does his cooking, cleaning, and i'm sure buys him thing he doesn't have to pay rent or bills... hes just a 21 year old guy who wants to have fun.. Who would want to grow up?! He needs to be told to grow up. Plain and simple. Maybe it really hasn't hit him yet that he's going to be a father. Whats his mom think about it all??

    Answer by krazyash023 at 10:06 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Don't get me wrong he is so excited about the baby. He does everything he can to help me and really does anything that i ask. He really is a great guy. Its just his family and people have told him that moving in would be a bad idea that we would be rushing things and that it would be wrong since we aren't married. But in my eyes we are pregnant and We are both in love with each other and should be together during this time.

    Answer by Ashley.herzing at 10:21 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I agree that it is easier for him to stay at home because once he moves out it is going to be a lot of " life" he is going to have to face like bills and stuff. He does have some bills no but i think he is scared to be out on his own.

    I just don't want to do this alone and i have told him. We have talked about getting married sometime after the baby was born that we didn't want to get married just because we are pregnant but I need him with me now. i need to know that he wants to be there for me but i don't know how else to tell him with out making him feel like i am pressuring him

    Answer by Ashley.herzing at 10:21 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I'm sorry...WTF? "life" started when he got your pregnant. It sucks that he's so young but he has to man up and take care of his responsibilities. His family is ridiculous for encouraging him to stay a boy when he is clearly the one who got himself into a situation where he needs to be a man. As far as RUSHING things...he's going to be a father! I think the time for worrying about rushing things is a little far gone! I'm sorry if this post is a little harsh but it's really making me angry. Here you are stressed out and pregnant and rightfully so and this little twerp of a boy doesn't want to RUSH things so it's all your problem and not his? That's BS. I smell a rat.

    Oh and you CAN do this alone if you have to. Lots of women have found strength where they didn't think they would. You are stronger than you know.

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:44 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • getting married bcc your pregnant is a bad idea. however you having to raise this child alone because his famliy doesn't want to rush things is even worse.

    Me andmy hubby moved in together when i was about six months pregnant and didn't get married until my son was four months old. We told our family who was against it because we weren't married that this child was not going to go one night without BOTH his parents with him.. and thats what we did (nowmy hubby has left to go fishing in NY, but that doesn't count) this is YOUR life. not his parents

    Answer by krazyash023 at 11:17 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • yea rushing things would have been out the window when you got pregnant............. he needs to grow up and stop letting mommy and daddy run his life. it is time for him to man up and be a father..

    Answer by brittanybell at 11:47 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • uuuhh... he needs to man up. it may be easier for him at home, but what about you? i would give him an ultimatum.

    Answer by charisma10 at 1:46 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

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