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3 Bumps

So, I need help...***edited adult content

My husband and DD...I constantly play referee.

He always yells at her, and will discipline, never plays, ect. with her. So, surprise, surprise...she hates him. No joke. She will not stay with him, freaks out if I walk outside...it's really, really bad.

If she doesn't listen, he will scream and scare her. And his motto "she'll fucking learn to respect me" or he'll spank her, which I worry about.

Earlier, he said something that struck a nerve. My DD punched me, like socked me in the eye. I was pissed, and put her in TO. He started yelling and told me if I didn't bust "her ass next time...he'd beat her up and down on the backside"

I mean, she shivers when he starts going off. I just don't know what to do.

He'll aggravate her and get her all upset then yell at her...and then he yells at me for consoling her. I just "give in to her".

 

UPDATE:   So, I have a job interview on Thursday as a Pharm rep..please keep me in your prayers.  If I get this, I'm gone!

Answer Question
 
Chloesmom1126

Asked by Chloesmom1126 at 10:34 PM on Apr. 24, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 20 (8,269 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • His behavior sounds abusive and downright dangerous. I would not allow my toddler to be yelled at or hit (spanked) by anyone!! That is NOT how you teach a child to behave. He is causing serious harm to your DD. You need to get some kind of professional help asap. This behavior is only going to escalate.

    I can tell that in your gut you know this is wrong and that you are scared for your DD. Please get help! Call a battered womens hotline.
    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 10:39 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • mama, if your TODDLER is that scared of your husband, than maybe perhaps you need to think about finding a diff husband. I would be mortifide if my daughter was terifide of my husband, I would be greatly concerned about how he treated her when you were not around. How old is he, how old are you?
    This does not sound like a safe enviroment, period. Sorry, but a toddler should never be hit for any reason, at all.
    JnCV

    Answer by JnCV at 10:41 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • is he the dad to your DD? Seriously consider putting her first.
    ItsJustMe1017

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 10:42 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • sounds like he might need a time out... or some anger managment =)

    But no really, sounds like there needs to be something worked out. maybe it will work its self out. Do you think when he yells at her it is for good reasons? or does he just get mad easily?
    LovinMyJay4

    Answer by LovinMyJay4 at 10:42 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • They are right I know it is easier said then done, but your story sounds scary. Especially for your little girl. Your job is to protect her.
    RedDahlia82

    Answer by RedDahlia82 at 10:45 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • None of us are in your shoes and understand how difficult this must be. That being said however, you have to put your daughter FIRST! My opinion is that your husband's behavior with her is very inappropriate. I wouldn't be comfortable with my son's step father spanking him unless they had been raising him practically his whole life and his bio father wasn't in the picture. Threatening to basically beat her is inexcusable!
    Court128

    Answer by Court128 at 10:49 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • wow, honey go with your gut. He is only going to get worse, figure out a plan to get out of there put some distance between you and help your daughter he has made his bed and he isnt doing it right! Your job is to protect your daughter ,kids sense how other people are and Maybe you should check into why she is scared of him so much because it may be more than the yelling and spanking she is afraid of ,hope not but get yourselves to a womens shelter before he hurts both of you .Please,I thought it would get better too and it was just me kids were grown but it got worse and he tried to kill me and threatened the kids too.
    glo335

    Answer by glo335 at 10:57 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • like now...he was played ball with her for 5 minutes and gave her a hug and kiss.

    I just don't get it.

    Yes, he is her bio father. I'm 26 and he's 31.
    Chloesmom1126

    Comment by Chloesmom1126 (original poster) at 10:58 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • Wow he seems like an abusive man and there is no way that you can say he hasnt put a finger on you. You are your babies protector! protect that child before something happens! You need to put him in his place or consider leaving his ass.. I am sorry bio dad or not I would not allow my daughter to be treated like that at ALL at any age.
    KayGia0704

    Answer by KayGia0704 at 11:00 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • my ex was sweet and wonderful part of the time too and I loved him ,when he drank he was a different person ,if your husband is being seet to your daughter one min. then not the next he is playing games with her emotionally ,keeping her on guard and no child needs that. does he drink, or are drugs involved? I would advise you to call an abuse hotline just to see what they say ,none of us are lving with you maybe they can give you some answers
    glo335

    Answer by glo335 at 11:02 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

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