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Is this wrong??

ok... My ex and I were very very close friends. We dated for almost 2 years and became very close. I broke it off with him and it has been 2 years since we have been split. I am now married and have a daughter with my husband. The other night, i had a dream about my ex. I had a dream that we went to the store together just shopping around and hanging out. Laughing, having a good time. Nothing inappropriate, like kissing or anything like that. Now since that dream, ((we live in the same town)) everytime i drive down the road i look as if im lookin to see if he is around. I feel like its wrong. I almost want to call or text him just to say hi. I know my husband wouldnt be happy with that, that is why i don't. But i still care about him..he was my best friend for the longest time. is this wrong?? I feel like im suppose to hate him...like i HAVE to hate him. I don't at all.


A part of me wants to see him and give him the biggest hug. I would love to see him again... like i said, we were VERY close friends. He was ALL i had at one point so i confided in him for the longest time so we developed a very unique close relationship. I can honestly say i would never want to be with him, i lost feelings for him a long time before my husband and i met. I would never cheat on my husband. I really wish the world wouldnt be so black and white. It seems like your supposed to completely act like you dont give a shit about ppl who you once cared about so much. Unlike most ppl, i dont try to lie to myself and pretend to hate ppl in my past just because they are in my past.

My husband is waaaay more important to me obviously..but i wish i could just see how he is doing every now and then without my husband thinking something is going on between us. Im a very independent person...and like the free will of doing what i wanna do..sounds selfish..but im not living under "rules" anymore. Im my own person now. And i feel like if i want it to be ok to still care for him as a person and friend, then i should be able to. I told my husband that once his ex got over their relationship from the past, then i wouldnt mind them being friends, but she was calling saying she missed him and all that jazz so i was like...oh no.. not till she gets over herself. But i wouldnt mind him saying hi to her everynow and then either..

what do you think?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:40 PM on Apr. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • You know i am kind of in that situation too.. the guy i dated when i was 15, we were good friends, until i met my husband we stopped talking after i moved out of state and got married. i would have dreams about it and i would sit for days thinking about him, i have been married almost 6 years! we would go through short times talking then even longer time not talking.. this time its been over a year not talking.. its crappy haha
    3HappylKidds

    Answer by 3HappylKidds at 10:49 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I wouldn't go there. JMO
    Yuriko_chan

    Answer by Yuriko_chan at 10:50 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • yeah! same here.... it sucks that you cant care about the ppl you care about? lol sooo basically u want me to lie to you that i dont give a shit about my ex and i hate him with every bone in my body JUST to make you feel better? Wouldnt you want me to be honest? lol i told my husband that i do not hate him
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:52 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I guess the question would be, how would you feel if it was your DH in that position?
    It's understandable that you miss your best friend, but DH comes first. (unless he'd be ok with the friendship?)
    mrsvixen

    Answer by mrsvixen at 11:06 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • oh i know my husband is ALWAYS first. I love him so much and he treats me with the upmost respect! I love him so much i would never do anything to hurt him. That is why i dont talk to my ex just cuz i dont want to even bring it up and upset him....just wish i didnt feel "controlled" in a round about way
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:09 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I wouldn't feel controlled. I'd consider it common courtousy. I don't feel controlled when I call to say I'm running late. It's preferrable to causing worry. You can always discuss it with him, as has all ready been mentioned. I don't typically discuss my ex's. For the most part, there is no need. For what it's worth, I too understand. I claim my very first lover as a friend of mine to this day. I send him an occasional text message. I sent him a "Happy Easter" text today. We don't talk on the phone. We don't see each other in person. I am not saying I think it would be wrong, it just hasn't come up.
    swizzleday

    Answer by swizzleday at 11:31 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • So how does your husband feel about you texting him?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:35 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • well i think u should still have your friends but at the same time im a litlle concern of the dreams you r having about him how much do u care for him cuase u r married i feel truthfully u still have feeling for him but that just me im also married and think of my ex and i do have feeling for him so i dont know i just do u u could say hi aint nothing wrong with that
    luv69

    Answer by luv69 at 11:48 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • the only feelings i have for him are on a friendship level. I do not feel for him at all like i used to. I dont even look at him the same. Im not sexually attracted to him at all either. We were best friends back then. I honestly think we were more of friends then lovers.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:52 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • Talk with your husband about the dream and how it made you think of your old friend.

    MyMyOhMy

    Answer by MyMyOhMy at 12:40 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

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