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Completely dependent MIL question

my mil had came to stay with us for a year and a half before we got into an heated arguement where she called the cops and told them I slashed her tires (she'd had a nail in it and it'd been flat for 3 days). I let a lot of the things she's said and done towards me slide, simply because my respect for her as my husbands mother. After the year and a half she walk out and refused to pay her rent ($300 a month 2 bedrooms because she nagged about having no space and we stored all her furniture because she had just recently divorced). After she lived in her car for a few weeks she begged us to come back. My husband and I agreed but we agreed she would pay rent and stay out of our way. So far shes abided by minding her own business, but now she has told him she doesnt have the money to pay rent. She has No car(she borrows her ex-husbands) and makes over $1800 a month. I'm in disbelief my husband even agreed to this after we agreed what her terms here would be. I just went on maternity leave and all the money I saved up is to care and supply for our child (furnish the nursery, buy diapers etc.) while he would pay the bills since we knew what our bills monthly average was. Now shes here washing 3 to 4 loads of clothes every 4 days sleeping with the lights, tv and fan on, and always on the phone. My question is should I help him with the bills or not. I have the money put up strictly for our child and for groceries til I return to work (i dont get paid for mat. leave but I do have some sick/paid vacation days), he can pay all the bills but then he will be personally strapped for cash.

We're moving in 2months so the living arrangement isn't permanent inother words, she's not moving with us we're just giving her somewhere to stay until we move. And shes 53 and we're 24 and 26.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Apr. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • She should be embarrassed expecting the two of you to take care of her! I'm 52 and if I were in a bind and was bringing in 1800.00 a month, my ass would be moving into an apt. not with my kids!

    Answer by Kathy675 at 10:54 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • First of all, she has long since used up the "she's my husband's mother" respect. I would kick her out asap. She is an adult and can/should take care of herself. She's only going to make a huge stress on your relationship with your husband. As for helping him with the bills, I would not. You have put away the money you have saved for your upcoming little one, not to support a grown woman who should step up to the plate and take care of herself.

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:58 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • No keep the money for your baby and have a family meeting and tell her she has to pay or get out!

    Answer by gammie at 11:00 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • No. Go to her and tell her to pay the money she owes you, in full, or GTFO! $200 a month and she can't afford it with her income? Bitch please. I would love to just have to pay $200/month. Can I come live with you? I'll give you $300.

    Answer by mrsziemann at 11:13 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • she actually hates and despises me, she calls me all types of names besides my name even bad mouths my family members to me. She has disowned my unborn child and talks to me through my husband, "tell her her mother called'. Yea so confronting her about anything isnt going to do anything but cause an arguement and maybe me to go into early labor. I normally let him deal with her. Im just unsure should I help him even though its his fault he will be strapped for cash.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:19 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • So just kick her out. He shouldn't allow his mother to treat his wife and unborn child that way. You and that baby should come above anyone else in this world.

    Answer by mrsziemann at 11:29 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • Kick her ass out! She does not respect you and your hubby should not allow that. If you need money he can get a second job and no, you need the money for the baby.

    Answer by gammie at 11:35 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

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