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How do you truly understand your sexuality?

I'm a wife and mother and have always had fantasies about women. In high school I kissed a few but no more than that. I finally told my husband that I wanted to try a threesome and it's been ongoing every weekend for about 2 months now with my best friend. It hasn't effected our friendship at all. But I'm starting to feel like I would rather be with a woman than a man. I love my husband very much and would never dream of leaving him. I'm just wondering, is this a phase I'm going through that I would rather have a woman or is that just me?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • It seems like you have the best of both worlds right now. I would just treat it as a phase, it has only been a couple months. Don't make any harsh decisions that you may regret later.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • you are gay. point blank. if a woman is what you want then you need to be with one. your never gonna truly be happy

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • no, not point blank. Sorry, but I disagree with the first answer. You might be bi. I myself am straight, so I don't know anything for fact, but I've had some bi friends who tell me that they kind of go thru phases of wanting to be with one or the other sex, so that could be what is going on with you. Or you could be gay, but the only way you will figure this out is to do some serious soul searching, and look at your relationships, with hubby and with best friend, and figure out which is more satisfying. Why wouldn't you leave hubby? You love him and he satisfies you? Or just b/c you have kids together, etc? That's something else you need to look at. If he doesn't really make you happy, that could be an indication too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I have two theories here. Well three. I am bi just in case that makes a difference. You are refreshed with the idea that someone else wants you and you want to pursue that so your feelings regarding being with a woman are heightened. You are unhappy with your marriage and someone else is showing you affections, so you are drawn to that. You are gay or bi, and being with a woman is something new so you are inclined that way right now. If you ever want to talk, just send me a message. I will give you whatever advice I can.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 11:01 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I thought I was a lesbian for sure some 18 years ago. I had just ended a relationship with a boyfriend and had some short relationships with women. Then I had one long term one for 15 years. About 2 years into it - I realized I really missed being with a man. I kept that buried because we had a child together. Well - those desires were at first squelched by just being busy and raising a baby. But by the time 10 years went by, I couldn't take it anymore. I could not deny my nature. I left the woman. I've been with a man ever since and so happy I did. I don't miss being with a woman at all. I'll never go back.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • Why put a label on sexuality? Why not just be happy w/ whomever you fall in love with? Whether it be a man or a woman??

    Answer by sally1981 at 11:20 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • ~ Sally1981, I understand what you're saying. But the challenge for me here is that I am in love with my husband & in a kind & caring relationship with him. I just feel more drawn & turned on sexually by women. I would rather sleep with a woman than a man. I'm happy in my marriage but want something more I guess. Maybe it's selfish. I don't know how to explain it.~

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Dec. 3, 2008