Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps


this may or not make too much sence to everyone but here goes nothing ....
I am 21. My son is turing 5 in june. I am a single mother...just divorced not to long ago. In about two months i will be graduating from beauty school =) Although i love doing hair, it isnt all i would like to study. I would like to go to school for Bakery and Pastery cheif. I found this amazing school about 4 hours away from home. Meaning my son and i would have to pack up and move by the end of this summer. Being a single mom who collects no child support i got a very good pell grant and will be able to get housing. so far everything sounds great. the school is amazing and i think it would be a very good chance for my son and i to start over.

here is my problem, does anyone think that this is being selfish or just plain crazy?
Here are some pros and cons about this life changing choice =(

-my son and i would be able to be on our own ( we are currently livin with my mother again)
-by taking this opp it might change our lives for the better. we dont have it bad or anything but it would give us independance that we need
-the school and area is great. we both have visited and both love it there
-i dont know if you will concider this a reason or not but i want to do this to set the example to my son of being a hard worker, doing many things with your life and taking chances. i want him to learn that nothing will come to you, you want something you need to go out and DO IT not just hope for it to fall into place
-selfish reason----because damnit, i want to! =)

- He will be going away from allll the family he has which he is VERY close to everyone. sees family at least 3 days out of the week every week since i could remember
-He will be downsizing his living arrangments. Momma isnt going to be able to give him as big of a house as he has now with me living wth my mom
-He wont see his father anymore
-I will be taking him away from everyone and everything he knows
-i will also be leaving all of my friends here
-He wont be able to go to the same school or play with his same friends
-He has had alot of changes in his life, so far he has never acted neg about any of them but what if this is the first and he hates it and acts up or gets upset... misses life now

there are alot more but i cant use upp this whooole page or no one will keep reading =)

ANY ADVICE is great i really need it

OH and another con
I live with my mom who is not the most healthy lady our there, if something were to happen to her she would be alone =( All alone in this house....and she WOULD give me the guilt trip, shit! she already has and i just told her that i had gotten some info on schools!
Also if something were to happen to me or jay i would know NO ONE out there and have no where to turn. ahhh this is so hard,

i need some advice ladies =(

sorry if this is under the wrong category lol i didnt see one that was labled " because im losing my mind" =)

Answer Question

Asked by LovinMyJay4 at 11:40 PM on Apr. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (517 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I say go for it, if you think you can make it a better living situation and being able to do something you want to. Your son is still young, he can make new friends there, and who knows maybe you can plant your roots there. You'll never know unless you try, you're home and family will most likely always be where you are now, so if all else fails you have that to fall back on. At least you can say you tried if that does happen!!

    Answer by Xtina0828 at 11:49 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I agree with Xtina. go for it.

    Answer by firepony at 11:49 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • I would take the chance. I would do my research and have a Plan B just in case. If you really think this is a big opportunity for you then go for it! If it doesn't work out well then you tried at least because I'm sure you'll always regret not having given it a shot if you don't.

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 11:50 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • Do it .

    Children are adaptable and although he may find it hard at first , he will adjust

    You owe it to yourself and your son to get a career doing something you like , to provide a decent home in the future for both of you .

    You will both make new friends and I am sure you will be able to return home sometimes to see family and old friends

    Would it be possible for your mother to move too and live near you so you can continue to be close ?

    It is your life, don't let anyone place guilt trips on you .

    Answer by janet116 at 11:52 PM on Apr. 24, 2011

  • Do it and make friends before you move so it will be easier. You will regret it if you don't.

    Answer by sweetangie79 at 12:06 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • This is something definitely worth trying. If you could, can you me some info about the pell grant with affordable housing. I could really use it too!

    Answer by SMITxsM2 at 12:16 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • Well, I know that guilt trip, I live with my grandmother; we moved in after she had surgery and when we tried to move back out she flipped and went all manic depressive on me. BUT, we are moving soon to follow my dreams so I can finish my flight training and get an actual degree in Aerospace instead of just the license. Sometimes you have to do what is best for you and your child in the long run and trust everything else can work itself out. Are you going to do hair in the new town? Seems a little crazy to let that go to waste completely.

    Answer by wildsun at 12:23 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • It is not selfish at all bc this is something that will benefit you AND your child. Do it!! And dnt let anyone tell you otherwise!

    Answer by vjoaquin at 12:33 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • It's not selfish to better yourself. These sorts of perfect situations only come around once or twice in a lifetime. Take it. You and your child will survive being away from family and you will gain much independence and confidence.

    Answer by adnilm at 8:09 AM on Apr. 25, 2011

  • thank you soo much moms =) I am looking forward to this and will update when i know more! Its nice to get some support even if i have to resort to cafe mom for it haha!!! No one here seems to think i can do this on my own but i know i can.
    And Yes, wildsun, i will be doing hair in the new area =) it would be silly if i didnt and i do love doing hair

    thanks again everyone!!! =)

    Comment by LovinMyJay4 (original poster) at 6:14 PM on Apr. 25, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.