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What can I do to prove to him what he is asking for?

I wrote yesterday the question "Is this considered cheating?". I am not sure if my ex will ever take me back but this is what he wrote to me last night along with a lot of really angry words: "In the end your actions prove yourself. You can say all of these things but some how I need you to act. to act towards me, like you really do love me, like I mean something to you. Cause sometimes words are just words, like now, and like now I need something from you, I need promises of no drama, of trust, of security and an undeniable show of affection from you, by you, personally. Otherwise this is over, I have no proof from you, just words. I don't know what you can do but I hope you can do something." I want to prove everything he is asking for but I am not sure how to if he won't give me the opportunity.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Dec. 3, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • In other words it sounds like he is tired of hearing im sorry and that you love him he wants you to show him your sorry and love him and want to be with him just make every effort to make him happy and really show him you care about him!! Just put everything you have into it if it is really what you want and you really love him..... but!!!!! DO NOT let him take advantage of the situation and punish you and give you a guilt trip forever you made a mistake but you dont have to spend the rest of your life paying for it!! My SO thinks i need to be punished and like im going to owe him forever for the mistakes I made but I wont do it forever when I feel my debt if repayed then thats it but i did to terrible things so I will keep on trying and trying anyway just do what you need to do and if your still confused just maybe have a romantic evening with him and ask what he wants from you!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 11:30 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • I don't know what the situation was that started this but a perfect example of this "Proof" he is asking for is shown in the movie "FIreproof". The wife in the movie woudln't give hubby a chance. The movie is a Christian based one (don't let that scare is really quite good and not really "preachy"). There is a website about it: I would check it couldn't hurt! (BTW I took my hubby to see this movie and he had a real "aha" moment right there in the theater! He's been ever so much nicer since then.

    Answer by companygoddess at 11:08 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • If u want him to stay just do all the things u know he likes or that makes him feel good. If you want to prove to him that you love him and want to be with him, then continue to tell him even though he doesn't want to hear it. Eventually he will break and talk to u. He is just venting right now so let him. This is fresh news to him so of course he will be upset. After a day or two, he will have calmed down and will be more ready and willing to talk. Do some things for him that u haven't done in a long time. Surprise him with something nice, but most of all never stop telling him how much u love him and just do things that show u appreciate him.

    Answer by ms.busybody at 11:09 AM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • It just takes time. I would advise can't kiss ass forever. You can "prove" yourself sorry and you should if you are and plan on staying with this person. Stop saying the words, "I'm sorry" over and over and over if that's what you are doing. You have to be accountable for where you go, what you are doing, etc for a time until the trust is rebuilt. You sort of have to be an open book for a while and don't get defensive because he has every right to know. Like I said, this isn't a lifelong, punish me till I'm dead thing. Over time, if it is going to work out...the freshness of "I am hurting and angry" should slowly fade. And, I do mean SLOWLY. I cheated and had to do the "begging" and proving myself thing for a while. It worked and I was really glad to get a 2nd chance.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • give him time to calm down. he's like an angry child who has tuned you out and not listening. Just get on with your life and if you want him back then jump through his hoops and be a good girl. I think he's one that wants a Stepford Wife. Surely he wants you kissing men while you are still his ex and not after you get back together. How will you ever know if he's the one if you don't check other men out? I just don't understand the logic of men sometimes.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:53 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • It sounds like he wants you to show him affection and prove that he can trust you. Winning trust back is not easy, it can take a really long time but it can be done. He seems to want more attention from you; call him more during the day; tell him you love him more than once per day or at least one time each day; hug him when he comes home from work; flirt with him; make him feel like a teenager again.

    Answer by Jerseymom1228 at 3:58 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

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